‘Too Many Doors’ by Tiffany Belle Harper #Feature

Have we become a generation of scattered minds? I fear so … for we have too many doors open. Leaving way for distraction, muddlements and pending disaster. Again I say … less is more.

I by no means am one to preach – as of recent weeks, due to convalescing after an operation, I have evaluated my time. I had no choice but to slow down and pursue the basic needs before me. One of which was emptying the apartment I’ve sold of my past. In the loft I found cards dating back to my first birthday and then onwards, right through to Valentine cards from my former husband, more than 20 years ago.

Things I’d taken for granted at the time, now remnants gone. Cards to celebrate the birth of my children, new homes, the lot. I felt overwhelmingly sentimental. But due to not having room to keep them all, I decided to be ruthless. Read each one and then gave a small pile to each of my sons. I had no internet at the flat, no TV – so relied on the radio. That too playing nostalgic tunes. I went through my entire life within a week.


I’ve been on a ‘conscious journey for around six months (of a spiritual nature). Deciding that things had to change in my life. I’d become extremely unhappy and felt my spirit evaporating into the wilderness of cyber space. I’ve got a fairly adaptable personality. I like to laugh, I’ve a dry – sometimes wicked sense of humour. I enjoy community events. Yet when I am at home alone, I can fall into days of contemplation that are often wasted by over thought.

In today’s modern age we have so much choice, we often forget to focus on the basic balance for self happiness. We have portals running alongside each other like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogs and so forth. We have to find drive to earn money, that require commitment too. We have friends to keep in the loop – plus family that need love and time. Many of us have pets and outside obligations such as community groups and campaigns.

Yet we still seek more?

Making small steps to help our inner voice can avoid symptoms of addiction and depression. Any addiction whether it is the internet, drug abuse or alcohol first has to be recognised by the victim of self harm. We establish the need to overcome the darkest desires that have no benefit to our long term goals. And then to take one day at a time.

I am fortunate I’ve never tried heroin. I’ve dabbled in the past with this and that, during my younger years. And yeah … I admit if there’s a joint on the go at a party, I’ll take a puff or two. But I don’t keep cannabis in the house and no longer drink at home alone unless it’s the weekend and I’m watching a movie.

I used to go online when I’d had a drink and create arguments with people that weren’t necessary. Usually over animal neglect. When on reflection the other person was probably just as boozed up as me and it achieved nothing. Now I get more involved with campaigns and hitting the cause directly rather than shoot the messenger.

Then there’s obsession where folk can become unhealthily interested in the activity of others, this in turn is a severe form of addiction. The target of the obsessive mind often feeling intimidated, worst still … stalked.

Our minds are excessively full of crap these days. We’ve so much information to process – that often we forget the most important things around us. The people that love us most, just the way we are. Or perhaps our pets! Living alongside others is not confined to species. I don’t know where I’be without my animals.

Improving out mind requires a little self discipline. I set myself goals now. I’ll make a conscious decision to not go online at all for a day or two. The first few hours are tough because I like to see what’s going on. But as I adapt, I find better things to do. When we relinquish one preoccupation we find more rewarding ways to move ahead. This is with ‘absolute’ focus and commitment. It takes time to master the art of adaptation on a long term basis. But if we practice this in small measures, with gradual increase it can be done. It’s like diet. We don’t need to punish ourselves with sacrifice, we need to reduce what is we become ‘food’ obsessed with, until we no longer recall the flavour.

I don’t have a smartphone. Why? I’ve got a class ‘A Personality. I’m the sort of person that if something could take control that is harmful,  I’m better to not indulge in the first place. The most interestingly, wonderful people I’ve met in life are addicts of some kind. Smokers, strippers, drag queens, boozers. I’m fascinated by eccentrics and radicals. I like bolshie, non conformists. But those I admire most are quiet people who are happy with a simple life. Seeking not for the approval or distraction of the modern world. But finding solace in their own small space. The ‘finest’ balance being those that have lived and learned – yet can teach from their own mistakes.


We can’t help who we are, we’re a colourful bunch. But for Class A people like me, I’d suggest trying those few steps that can turn into strides of completeness. Follow your hearts, be good to your minds and stay close to your loved ones. A few good doors can inspire – but a corridor can be never ending.


Tiffany Belle Harper.

22 thoughts on “‘Too Many Doors’ by Tiffany Belle Harper #Feature

  1. All easier said than sone unfortunately. I try to remain the best person I can yet sometimes I struggle. I no longer drink, do recreational drugs, behave badly (on the whole) and I try to put my spirit at rest yet I am still missing something in my peace. I think I may be lonely yet when I try to resolve this with “the internet” I usually last a day then delete myself due to a lack of interest on my behalf.
    If only there were more answers….

    1. So true Cameron. Although I write to hopefully inspire I fall victim to my own weaknesses and each day is a struggle at some point. Your words inspire me too and I hope your journey is proving good for you at the moment Cameron. Love to you and your precious hound. X

    2. Cameron, I’ve worried about you a little today, without sounding patronising, you are my friend and I treasure you. Would you like to write a piece about loneliness and I’d love to share it on here and at Belleva. Did you know a survey recently showed that 60% of people are lonely (the ones who admitted to it). the stats may be higher. I always say, we can be in a crowded room and feel lonely. Cameron, do you meditate. I often feel lonely and it’s usually when I feel I don’t fit in. I feel least lonely when I am writing and out with nature. You know I am always here as you are for me. A problem halved is a problem shared and loneliness is a big issue amongst us in the West. We don’t have small units and groups such as many cultural regions do. Let me know your thoughts Cameron? Tiff :O)

      1. Just about to walk the pooch but yes for sure, will consider something next week when I have some downtime. I agree about feeling less lonely when I am out walking and also when I am writing. I suppose they both clear the mind. Let me have a think over the weekend. 🙂

      2. I regularly take nature pictures but have not been on a walk of anywhere new for quite some time. This means no requirement for pictures. If you go through my blog and look up Sunday Strolls you will see plenty of my surrounding area.

      3. Open your heart, open your mind and she will come. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. A lot of people are engaging via meetup. It is to engage in groups in the community. You could even set one up your self. I know a lot of people who’ve built new lives via meetup. I have a group on there too for my holistic work. Although I have recently passed it on to someone else as I struggled to find the time with moving and my operation. You’ve so much to offer. She could be on your doorstep and you don’t even know it. Here is the link. http://www.meetup.com I made some beautiful friends via here 🙂

      4. Thank you for that Tiff, you are very kind to offer this information. I shall give it a go as I am slowly but surely tiring of the crap and bullshit that surrounds our daily search for happiness in this area.

      5. Cameron let me know. It was actually a huge turning point for me. As I was looking for education in my spiritual work and I found the perfect courses to go on. It helped my work and also me spiritually. Also do you know whether there is a Buddhist retreat near you? I can highly recommend Gomde Hall. They are beautiful people. Most who go are not practicing buddhists. You can just go for a break. The retreat is set in acres of land and the house is beautiful. It was a friend who told me to go there when I felt lost last year. It really did help. I made new like minded, intelligent friends there too. Most people go alone. It’s the sort of place you visit to be with self whilst having company if you want. Non intrusive. I am so glad I didn’t offend you by recommending Meetup. I really want you to keep me posted 🙂

      6. I will do. I have had a quick look at Meet Up and there are a couple of things on there. But only issue at present is time or the lack of it so I shall revisit when the schedule frees up a little.
        I do however like the sound of Gomde Hall. We do have a place near to Oxford but it is incredibly expensive from what I can tell so maybe Gomde Hall will be more easily accessible….
        Thank you for all of your kindness and concern, Tiff, you are very sweet to do so….

  2. This reminded me of my own time resting after my surgery. It is the perfect time to recharge and get in tune with ourselves. I agree with everything you said. Somehow, society has fallen off the tracks and it can’t get back on. Some of us are wise enough to look within ourselves in search of true happiness because that can only come from within.

    Wonderful post. xoxoxo

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