doodling – book #diary
My name’s Tiffany Harper. I realised life wasn’t all it seemed when I was just seven. My nan who I adored died. I spent most of my time with her. I knew she wasn’t well because towards the end I wasn’t allowed to visit. I used to come home for school dinners and most days I would see her. Then my mum said she had to take care of nan so I had to stay at school all day. I hated it there. I wrote letters to my parents and left them outside their bedroom door. Here’s one of them.
Dear mummy and daddy,
Please let me come home at dinner time. They make me eat all the vegetables until I am sick. I hate peas the most. I want to come home and have beans on toast. If it’s the money you can keep my pocket money. I cannot carry on like this. Tiffany.
Needless to say, I didn’t get a response or an explanation. One-night, mum took to her bedroom and as she sat on the end of her bed while I stood in front of her. She gently told me nan had died and I would not see her again. Then, she went downstairs. I didn’t know about religion or spirituality. I just thought she’d vanished?
I went to my bedroom and shouted at the sky explaining you cannot just take someone away from me without letting them say goodbye. Then, I asked the big space up above with twinkling stars and a full moon with a smiling face to bring her back. From then on very strange things would happen to me that I could not explain. I was often utterly terrified. It certainly was not my nan doing this as she wouldn’t want to scare me. I was not in control and things would wake me in the night.
My life has not been easy. It’s been extremely emotional and traumatic where I have experienced immense cruelty and violence. Yet, I’ve never got ‘used’ it. I’ve never accepted abuse as a part of my routine. Equally, I’ve not transmitted this to others. It’s made me more loving and empathetic to my children, family and friends. And of course, animals.
I’ve strive to used my experiences to help others. To this day I continue to do so. I’ve made mistakes. I will make many more. But I hope by sharing my book, which relays a difficult yet extremely colourful chapter in my life. It will give others the will to succeed in ways that find an inner peace and alignment with our soul purpose. This does not involve extreme wealth or winning merits at every opportunity. It is much, much more than that.
I don’t mention ‘age’ too much within the chapters. As, to me, we are as old as our experiences and ventures. There are children that are wiser than adults. It is about our interaction with society. Community. All aspects of living is that which defines us. This book is a diary of events. Within each chapter a story from present to past. Past to present. In no particular order. A journey from Warwick to Leeds that extends to Wales, Derby and Leicestershire. And at the point of writing this – unknown destinations to come. That’s the joy of a free-spirit. We never quite know what lies ahead. So as the chapters unfold – join me on an expedition of inner freedom, mindset and the strength of Law of Attraction. Together with the blockades of fear and self-value. We are all human and will have many imperfections within ‘self’ along the way of our own unique pathways.
I’ve had my heart ripped out too many times to mention. I can deal with strangers and confrontation. I fight for truth. I stand by justice. I don’t think it’s below me to sit on the floor with those who have fallen. I have as much substance as I do faults. But when the people we let into our lives and grow to trust devalue our presence. When they turn to hate and resentment, seeking means to hurt us. When we lie awake at night foreboding about the future and how to get by on a day to day basis. Despite the fact we have helped those who are less fortunate. Polished the halo’s of millionaires and campaigned for animals around the world. When this angers others, we have to stand still and evaluate the types of people we have attracted into our energy field. How they got there and how we can improve, so that our efforts are rewarded with the like-minded. Not the vapid system which allows parasites into our realms. Who take. Do not give back and who live without consequence according to their financial circumstances and public persona. Who live an illusion using means such as social media – mainstream media and digital media. There is so much more than this. To offset the undertones of hardship laid out as above.
I’ve had the pleasure of meeting so many warm hearted, giving and gracious people from all walks of life during my journey. It’s taught me there is so much love in the world. That those who give most, want less. Therefore, they are somewhat voiceless. Its about trying out best. Never giving up and always moving forward until we find that special place to rest in the arms of unconditional friendship. Things can only change when we tell the truth. When we are not afraid to reveal who we really are.
We all have a specific given soul purpose. We can learn a lot about others by finding their mission in life. For instance. An actor will always be on a stage. We will never know who they are. A comedian is able to hide their manic state and extreme views behind laughter. Those with music can heal broken wounds or stoke the fire. A politician being a change maker. This can be for the light or dark. That’s why there’s multiple sides in establishments. It’s about who we choose to influence our world on a day to day basis. To keep going. To not fear love. To realise this life is but a small part of the infinite journey through time. There are always fork ways. We choose the easy root or the unknown way. The people we let into our life can be as destructive as purposeful. Sometimes it’s better to walk alone without fear than be led into the darkness.
So, my book will be a diary of events that defines who I am today. How I found help in unlikely places. How I experienced abuse in unlikely places. Bringing a few smiles too. It all started with a few mannequins. How it will end. At this point I do not know. I suppose when I get to the last chapter, I can bring you more.
I believe to write you have to live in the real world to gain the material that will engage the people who want to wake up. I don’t understand how anyone can sit at home all day and find enough material to share with others. This is why writing takes time for me.
I love it when Spring arrives – TBH©