Well it is half way through the week and I am in Blackpool. I am full of a bug. I’ve never felt so ill. Started as a cold then went into something much worst. I am no good with these dark days at all … sigh. I am multi-tasking and trying to accept the xmas festivities too. I think I am exhausted. I used to lead a private and quiet life and somehow this is no longer the case.
I have been visited by a hindu male fortune teller who knocked my door a few weeks ago. There is a specific name for this type of messenger but I am sorry, I forgot what he said he was. But he was very mystical. I asked him in, he sat down and put my hands over water then told me lots of things together with making scribbles on a piece of paper. Here is the doodle he did for me. In particular my two years in hell. This was the hub of the physiological bullying I endured for many years in ways that would be difficult to describe to those unaware of the impact this man and his partner had on me and my loved ones. I had nothing and slept near the ground unable to move. I will never forget these days. It nearly killed me. I was in recovery from a serious assault that sent me to death and back. I only now realise just how hard I had to fight to stay sane and alive. Blogging here helped, although it also hindered as this is where the couple used my situation to attack the hardest. It was all so cruel, unfounded and unnecessary. I lost my confidence and was in a constant sense of despair. I believe jealousy is one of the worst traits of mankind. It kills people. I refuse to succumb to jealousy, greed or ego. We should admire strength and courage, not try to break it. To aspire and admire not resent.
Each nest I have resided in, I have put my most positive energy. Filling a space with cherished artefact and good feeling creates a harmonious space – but when others send hate and jealousy to that space, it is sometimes hard to shift this negativity – so in this industry it is a perpetual cycle of clearing the history and although the guests are not a problem – there are other factors. So I am embracing the new and moving forward – learning – growing. To focus on my own forthcoming project with the new lessons I now have with me. To grow through the dark and reach for the light in an infinite sense of determination for my highest and best self.
We are so much more than mortal. We are all leaving our blue-prints. Some decide to harbour hate and vendettas whilst others reach for the wings of Angels soaring free – to ride by their side with a knowledge learned only by the greater good of everything around us. We can see a glass that is half empty or half full. Our own personal choice. Do not let the ill intent of others drag you down or hold you back. Life is beautiful. It is great lesson for bigger things ahead. It is not about money or material gain, but more so a sense of being honest to ourselves. To tell the truth and not play victim when indeed we are the making of our own situations. It is all too easy to blame others for our downfalls when we should be taking responsibility for our own actions and coming from a sincere place of love and empathy. For lies will tear you apart.
2 thoughts on “December diary”
Hi there Tiff, it’s heartbreaking to hear all of this happened to you. It’s good to see you have regained your sense of self. It’s good to see you 🙂
ditto Simon x