#diary January

Had pink hair for a few weeks (long story) here is me today but due to hiding in my bedroom with a magazine, cup of tea and biccies – the lighting is bad and I don’t wear makeup here nonetheless I am so chuffed, as I found some people to get involved with my new pamper packages coming for 2019. A Goddess named Andrew in particular. FAB. Love the unconventionals out there, specially ones that are devoted to their art and craft.

I have had a very different few months to anything I’ve ever experienced. Thrown in at the deep end. At one point I thought I was going to die. Actually, not just once, but anyway, I believe we all have several chances. I have experienced just about every emotion – but the times when I am alone, to sleep at night not ever feeling safe due to an unstable predator who sent me such dark and awful energy is just pitiful when you have to get up, get dressed and smile with strangers and you know you didn’t do anything to deserve such fear or hatred. No person should be fearful of their life. Not ever! All I ever want in my heart is for everyone to be happy. Also, I’ve had the curse of a voucher site, where guests have visited my hotel expecting everything for nothing, many of which don’t even know we have stairs then arrive to moan they have to climb up them to their rooms. While most guests have been so lovely a few have been vile and it is surprising, mainly ‘wealthy’ yet despicable couples (mature) and mainly women. I think, even if I stood on my head and cooked their breakfasts it would not be enough. I have been treated like a slave, and it has made me realise just what women in particular have to go through in the workplace and from other women!! I detest those who speak badly to maids and servants. Shame on you! I shout at them and this is where my local children gave me the name Tiffany Grinch … haha! More to come on that. They made me look like I have a beard. I will always endorse mud masks but I have never owned my own beard. So here is me with the mystery beard. It can go the other way. I guess a lot of people use filters to make themselves look better, well here is one to make me look my worst! No seriously, the FB pics were used with my 100% backing. We are as beautiful as our souls. And maybe as I become older I will develop a fluffy face. Fine.

I must have been pretty naive when I relocated to Lancashire and right up until signing the papers, I tried to pull out of it – but was strongly persuaded it was the best thing I could do. Trust is just a word. I have missed my son so much but have got to see him a couple of times since last June. It sometimes feels like I am in prison, when he goes home. We don’t speak much when we are together, just hang-out – but it is knowing he is no longer nearby that I have to get used to. We used to eat out together most days. I just adore my two lads. No trouble and so gifted/sensitive. I don’t tell them when things are bad because there’s too much good in the world to worry our most loved ones.

I have the love of my life to talk with and fluster around the clock. Poor him. God only knows what I put him through (ilysm my heart) and these moments get me through it, together with new adventures not far away. I do love my life. We are all so lucky to be here. We have to try and make it work for everyone. I wanted variety and it is certainly coming tenfold. Onward and upwards and to know I must remain in loving hands to focus on the light in life and not the darkness. I remain driven by the universe. I always will. Spring will be with us soon.