life is never fair but it can be sweet

I can’t believe I am 58 this year. I will be honest, inside I feel about 30. I suppose because I have spent the gap between then and now, being quite isolated in my targets. Where I have had many struggles to overcome, beneficial to my journey, yet hard work. As I always say, Life is a Lesson – Learn it well.’ So, I have not plodded along the age stick with the mundane, but instead have sought out music, gatherings and people I think are cool. It’s kept me young, for sure. little and often. the lighter months.

When my kids were becoming adults, I used to go out clubbing with them and also with my late Father back in the day. I would pole dance or hop on a podium. My sons would cringe. I stopped clubbing on a weekly basis when I was about 35. This is when it took a week to get over one weekend. So you’re always either out or knackered. Staying young inside is good for the soul, but it can feel really awkward when you get to meet people the same age or older, who seem like decades ahead of you. I love to wander, slow down, people watch. Drink coffee or good wine. And not feel observed. It’s a basic human right for those who do not seek the limelight. Well … I thought so?

With Belleva, it’s taught me so much about couples in particular. The younger couples do seem to have more compassion and insight and are far more progressive minded. They like their space and seem to get by with me not around, coming and going as they please. Whereas, the more mature couples don’t like the contactless check in and out (generally speaking.) Also, they prefer a place with a bar, free breakfast and somebody to always be about. To coin it, they want more attention. Plus, whilst I am waffling on, thanks for any person who said a few nice words. I know is a huge organisation that takes all the bread but still, this was nice to get. It’s been such a tough time this winter so it did give me a lift.

When I go away on a break, I don’t want any service at all. I like space and freedom. We are all different, I guess. But Belleva is more like a retreat. I can’t be waiting on people who bore the shit out of me. I prefer younger guests, I learn from them and we have much more in common. You have to keep up to date to keep moving. And the only way to do that is not to focus on the same things, day in, day out. Jazz keeps me fast in my heart space. My Dad loved jazz too.

Belleva used to be called The Nester. Well … when I took it over that was the name I chose. Because. I am a Nester. I have always made dens and my favourite way to do this is in cosy spaces. Prior to that, Belleva had always been called ‘Sovereign House’ and one of my biggest mistakes to date (I have made a few …) is not keeping the original name. I rushed in without thinking and got too creative. The neighbours could not get their heads around the pace of change when I hit number 30 on St Chads. Anyway, soon after I was contacted by a hotel chain with a similar name saying they had found ‘The Nester’ and it was an abbreviation of their hotel chain. This was due to me setting up Belleva as a PLC by the advice of my family. It was all over the web. So invasive for small businesses. And not safe for women in particular.

So I called a great company named ‘Trademark Eagle’ and got chatting with an amazing lady named Natasha, who explained that I had to choose a name nobody else had taken. I let her know I wanted to go back to Sovereign House, though, unfortunately that was also registered by another business. I had a blog named Belleva which was an anagram of Believer and being a spiritual being, we eventually did a trademark search on the name. By now, we had gone through so many ideas. Low and behold, Belleva came up. And since there was already a hotel owned by a mate of mine, named Belvere on the street we accentuated Belleva to BellEva as to avoid muddlements. It’s caused all kinds of problems, but I got there in the end and had to change the sign and branding quite quickly. Then came the strap line Home. Heart. Hotel. Because that’s what the place was to me. And that’s how I wanted it to feel for my guests.

I have spent the last few months doing up a little garden in Lytham and designing a family project. As you may have read from previous blogs, it has been such a challenging journey. I really was quite naïve and thought having a phone, a laptop and being able to go for a walk or drive to work, was a common practice. That was until we discovered how easy it is for a person to recruit agencies to hack and track. It’s not as if I am worth any money, want to be in the public eye, crave attention or do anything that interesting. It’s affected my mental health, in that it’s made me feel quite withdrawn and unsafe and my sense of happiness is currently very damaged. Yet, as a person I have not changed.

Life can be so very cruel and when I assess those going through difficult times too, they are the nicest people I know. Whilst the ones that do that bad stuff, seem to get away with it and don’t care who they tread on. Yet, I guess, deep down they are going through some kind of personal trauma, they perhaps disguise with a false impression. I don’t know. It doesn’t do to think about. I have my own problems, but I don’t think I have ever gone out of my way to cause hardship. I don’t carry baggage or bully my way into any person’s space. It’s far removed from my mindset how anyone can be like that?

That said, life is sweet, and it is short. It is all about finding inner peace and comfort in the simple things. I love chilling with the pets and doing my tarot. Collecting stones and looking at interior ideas. I like privacy whilst others crave attention. I don’t. These days I am just glad be here and daydream about my bucket list. One day a time. Everything any of us need is all on our doorstep in the real world. Not through a phone, PC or lens. We can all be free. I thought I should do this blog as previous posts have worried the crap out of a few people. I cannot lie, being stalked is horrific. But you have to try to live like nobody is watching. I still demand the UK Government implement safety and regulative laws to protect women in particular, from non permissive spyware and unauthorised intrusion, from not only the stalker but also, those offering such services to make our lives a misery. Imagine being paid to follow an innocent woman down a little High Street to buy sweets and toiletries for her Mother. Or to hide a camera in a tree. Or to remotely view a laptop. Ridiculous.

Have a Great Week All.

Tiff. X