If you don’t get out and need a good book idea, here’s some food for thought. True story by the way. Here goes! I wrote this very quickly.
I applaud sex workers. It never should be a taboo subject. Since the beginning of mankind women have been brave enough to offer services to keep everyone else safe. And in view of recent events for which have taken place in my life since the end of November 2022, this just reaffirms my opinion. That said, such a profession should be one of free will. Since no person should be exploited, groomed or forced into the industry.
For instance, there are women who choose to share their home and day to day lives to voyeurs, who pay to watch the cameras set around their homes or studios. These wonderful women make a good living and why shouldn’t they. They have undertaken the task to share their lives to those who require such a service.
And this is a double edged sword, because say for instance, a man is feeling lonely within his relationship. Yearning for more. Is intrigued by the risqué nature of peeping into the world of another. Then he must dig deep and pay for such a service. His wife knows not of this but in turn his relationship with his significant other improves. As he discovers that now his life has more depth, with his newfound vice. And what he lacks at home is paid for by means of a service. The woman he chooses to stalk with consent, makes a living from his nosiness.
And I know these workers can make as much as four to five hundred quid an hour. Leeds taught me well. I knew great people. I admire any woman who turns her skills to feed her children. And it’s not money laundering. Punters pay online by debit or credit card, marked discretely for the benefit of a shared bank statement. The salary for the woman is taxable and she registers as self employed. As a therapist or model. It’s all legal. Good luck to them! Everyone is happy. Perhaps not his wife, if she was to discover this sudden happiness given to her, comes from the life of paid access to working girls spaces.
But then I assume it is better for his wife to live in denial, since after all, her man is a less hungry person for his other (secret) fetish and perverted desire. He now wanks more regularly and grins like a cat. In belief his life is more wholesome. While the working girl buys herself nice things. Takes the kids to the cinema or chills out with her girlfriend. For probably she is glad to be out of the daze of males. A lot of working girls are gay, I have found.
On the other hand you can have a man who does not have permission to invade the space of a woman. A woman who is not a sex worker, who has not opened her world to strangers. Who chooses to be as she lives, while sharing only her secrets with her true and one love, for which they thrive together quite happily. This man, the Peeping Tom (a millionaire – a hoarder) a phycological rapist bombards himself into their secrets, looking for ways to find out who she speaks with, what she is planning and how her private world is. He takes without conscience, he feeds his depression with the lives of those who embody a contentment within their true tribes. Raping her of any form of solitude or space. Taking what does not belong to him. A repulsive, vulgar scum bag, living in a sea of lies. Relishing that swift opportunity to see her naked. Unbeknown to her, the times she walked from the shower to find her clothes for the day or pyjamas for bed. This vulgar man living in a delusional world of a forced relationship, had repeatedly raped the law of humanity and the right to privacy.
And I would say to any person if you want to expand your cravings, pay a specialist and don’t be a rapist.
I suppose my life has always been ‘unusual.’ I would not regard myself a ‘lucky’ person (if luck exists …) And my main descriptive word would be ‘daydreamer.’ When I love I do so fiercely and those people I tell. Because a few kind words can never be too much. I never look for the like minded, I am drawn to the genuine. And I think to have a selection of people to draw inspiration from is imperative. In the real world my way of connecting is to wander about alone and sit quietly, watching, observing, sometimes listening. And then if I do get to chat with folk, I intently churn what they say, their body language. We part ways. I reflect.
Many years ago I would take their numbers, but never call them back. Because life can become too hectic for consistent strings with new connections. I have enough. I am not afraid of loneliness or death but I am afraid of harm coming to me as a result of the obsession or bad intent of another. Who wouldn’t be. A free spirit is a sacred gift and not to be threatened.
I do however, believe we have a handful of people we keep close. It’s a two way connection, where both parties give that permission. Other than that, it can feel intrusive. We should never be forced to pay attention to any person we do not like, or wish to be in the company of. Go away. Leave me alone. Words such as this are clear requests. Our basic human rights. To leave a person alone. For every person to have their freedom from unwanted attention.
Since last November my life has been turned upside down with a combination of fear, disgust and sadness. Emotions I was not prepared for, since already I have had my obstacles. It sort of piled things on harder. The person causing this, waited for an opportunity to see a gap where he could resume what was a horrid few years for me, during a chunk of my time in Leeds.
It was phycological abuse and way back then, I thought ‘my life is over.’ ‘I am never going to get away from this.’ His partner spotted the opportunity to quickly jump on board and still, to this day, I do not understand where it all comes from. He just won’t let go and has pursued my journey and then found the address for which I tried to set up a small health club. I have at times tried to defend myself, but this has made it worse. Any reaction being exactly what they want. I have somehow become a game in their very complexed relationship. One of which I feel as though I am a worm in a jar, with no escape. It’s as though they are trying to crush my spirit.
They are two people who are far removed from who I am. One writes books about revenge and the other focuses on characters who are misfits, drawn to a female role model. From clips scattered around the web, his stories are laced with my original words and her book covers and titles, with aggressive suggestions and themes about my life and business. Neither I have watched or read. So I am no critic. It doesn’t interest me. Yet they relentlessly continue.
It has been the most challenging and draining experience of my life. Though, since it is all presented through a social media platform, I am able to ignore the pestering and wicked situations, where they use targeted formulas to pinpoint specific happenings in my life. You block them. They still find a way. It’s been a witch hunt which would for some people on the receiving end of such hate, be so very overbearing, they could lose the will to live.
I have never wanted to be famous or to gain followers based on lies and agenda. I have never desired recognition because ‘really’ I am a private person. There’s been posts about missing people, referring to family names. Missing pets similar to my own. Death threats and risks to my safety in general. It’s not a possible coincidence. The timings are copulatively put to intimidate me and it’s been happening for over ten years. Day in. Day out. And so very cowardly.
So you think, ‘I will withdraw from social presence.’ Which has been hard for me since, I love to write and I enjoy photography. Perfectly entitled to participate in life and leave my own blueprint. They chisel away. The onslaught quickens. Its pure abuse.
He recently refers to names of work contractors, my pets, artefact around the hotel (a small independent business within a deprived region of Blackpool.) Even walking the dog with my son, during a trip to Warwickshire, who is suffering with his mental disposition. I believe the stalker was offered a menu of services by a money hungry surveillance firm – and he ticked every box. Why not, I guess, he can afford it and clearly, he hasn’t got much else to do in his spare time, so he’s encroached upon mine. Knowing I dislike him and organically would not want to be anywhere near the man, he has used money to force himself upon me. I want him to get away from my world.
And she must see he is distracted elsewhere, by whatever device he has the evidence on. He will have his tracks covered. He is a hugely calculated piece of work. An insecure man, believing women should not have male friends or any type of career. Threatened by most things. A man who thrives on a stage, besotted by the sound of his own tired, warped, racist and bigoted voice of no reason. Utter Crap. Believing ‘Cunt’ to be a regular used swear word, during his hate shows. He demises the vagina. Justifies the right to intimidate and bully. That it’s fine to ‘offend and intimidate.’ Although, he carries a chip on his shoulder and frazzles his mind with relentless grudges. Using his online persona to dictate utter crap. Big news, someone copied a joke. Despite the fact we are on the verge of a cold war and kids are dying of hunger around the globe, but yes. Someone copied a joke. The irony being, most of his works transpire from my life.
I could write pages about all this stuff but I won’t. I am just going to try and live like nobody is watching. I have come a long way these last five years. And they continue. He plays her off with his formulas, she reacts by attacking me. It’s so very childish. For about five years it was bearable, as I stopped looking at the taunts. Feeling it must be awful for both of them having such a small minded approach to their personal habits. But when it escapes the web and manifests into actual spyware and an invasion of my own space, you look to see where else he has asked them to put a camera or control a drone.
Whether he and his other criminals can see what you’re wearing (or not.) It’s as though I am living in the land of nowhere. No different to any other prisoner. All I can say to any person out there witnessing such acts of cruelty. If you know any person who is suffering at the hands of abuse and intimidation, don’t be a bystander. Imagine if you lost your basic human rights to an obsessive manipulator, who will become worse with age. A manic depressive with a drink problem. A man who thrives on dishing out misery. God Help Me.
It is worrying to realise that any person with an unhealthy obsession can implement technology to follow a person around their home, outdoors, in the car and also their family and associates, for the rest of their life. To the point of, they must flea their home and business. Hence stealing the soul of another’s livelihood. New material for their work, a sense of freedom at the hands of theft. It’s the most shockingly awful revelation of my entire life.
And this is really happening. It’s like fiction has spiralled out of control, toward their insane mindsets of delusion and monotony. That they chose me to try to destroy. Self declared atheists, they are not. They are walking demons, using the vulnerability of sheep as cloak and dagger. They relish the game of cruelty. They are abusers. And they know what they do. Although their adorning fans do not. Mere shields for their ego. Poor people that would probably be mortified to learn the truth of their intention.
Highly regarded for all they ‘tweet’ about animal welfare. I would love to see them get up at 5.30 am, to muck out rescue pens and take in new pets. He can pat a dogs head for a charity and be deemed a hero. How can a man who terrorises a woman when she is alone endorse a ban on Trophy Hunting, when he himself participates. To claim he wishes to stamp out ‘experimenting on animals’ when he places a woman’s freedom behind bars. He is fake. They both are. And the foolish buy into it. That’s fine, it takes all sorts. I just want rid of their stagnant shit, to wish them well on their road to whatever it is they want to be known best for, in truth. All the energy they put into my own little world, would be best spent addressing the causes they claim to support. To turn their obsession to something far more productive.
The positive aspect of this, it has made me fight harder to keep my own identity and intuition in tact. I have found new ways to find joy. I pray more and I am eternally awake and true to my own self and goals. Realising no person can ever escape obsession and wealth. The tech can follow us anywhere, even to the shower. The pillow and our family homes.
It’s been a tough week. My mom and son joined me in Lytham. We are all very different and it’s part of adjusting and trying to balance. Last night, I went out for a couple of drinks and got chatting to a lovely family. It was the dog that bought me to them. He’s a beauty.
Have a great week folks. Be safe and well. I am not sure whether my blog and website will remain on the web. I hope so but since keylogging gives any person who indulges, unauthorised access etc, fingers crossed for my journey. I have nowhere that is safe now. Nowhere at all.
We must remind ourselves in times of persecution and unnecessary hatred. The world is in a mess and all of our attention should be on the focus of helping those less fortunate. There are better ways for many to spend their time and money. And whilst social media is good for awareness, it is not so productive for communities. Community is with both feet on the pavement. To be constructive in the world as though technology does not exist at all. To become tribes of goodness and make progress with air and compassion. Let no man stop this natural form of light work.
I must wish the good people luck. Stand up, for we are shifting to a new and better dimension. Do not bow to scum. Respect a good leader and see the truth of intention. As though the red bracelet of hope for my friend. Thank You. You’re doing great. You come from The North. And I will, as promised, always pray for your courage. Be wise. I remain a socialist but we can all come together to craft one beautiful big tapestry. We just have to shake off the elitist lizards, for which have no goodwill to help this world. Thick skinned, vulgar tongued and lost.
A thirty six year old woman in Blackpool, living and rearing her children, in what is regarded to be one of the most deprived regions of the town, is strip searched at 12.30am. whilst her children cry in another room in her home, having had their phones taken by the police.
She has been at work all day with one of her three jobs, raising money to feed her family. She hasn’t had time to shower. She is asked to remove her top, then bra. She is examined. Even her hair must be unleashed from the clasp. She is told to put the items back on, then remove her pants and trousers. To stand with her legs apart. She is told if she resists she will be restrained and her clothes cut off her. a woman of dignity. A mother.
A multi-millionaire in an affluent part of London has paid a third party to stalk a fifty eight year old woman, with no motive other than obsession. Cameras, drones and unauthorised access to public CCTV cameras. Keyloggers in her phone and laptop. He watches her come and go from the shower. Reads her messages and makes anonymous attacks of blackmail, harm and misery to her friends and family using targeted formulas behind the façade of his social media account.
As we mature into adults, we experience all kinds of emotions and situations that help mold us into what we could become. Our earlier years are our greatest lessons. We suffer many experiences that can be difficult to cope with. Such like bullying, family separations and the pressure of education. Religious enforcement. We can go one of two ways, to grow and learn through our maturity, or stay within those same patterns. To be enslaved to the past or to be in denial of how or why we do the things that can hurt others. Acts of cruelty become a burden not only for those who receive the brunt but also solve no long term sense of inner peace for the troublemaker.
Life is so short, and it is important to use our years here on Earth to improve our immediate surroundings with what comes to us organically in terms of ‘less is more.’ I am not certain that one of life’s myths is true > That we attract the right people around us. It does apply in our actual world and for me, it’s a lighthearted thing. I am not into lots of deep and meaningful friendships, as it can take over from what we need to get done in our own space. And for me, most of the time it’s taking care of my pets.
I think any animal lover will agree, having animals about the place is so beautiful. They become your tribe and they need you. In return you get heaps of love back. Although, working in animal rescue is not so pleasant, because it breaks your heart repeatedly. The animal rescue circuit is a tough business to be in. I spent years trying to do as much as I could to make a difference, ranging from the dolphins in Taiji, to hedgehogs in Burnley. I got completely squashed by the bigger rescues out there, who had loads of money and social influence. Yet, the sad thing being, each animal is precious and every rescuer deserves a voice. I take my hat off to all of them. The RSPCA for instance. They get direct debits and donations amounting to huge profit. Whereas, a small rescue must sell raffle tickets just to buy cat litter or poop bags.
So having pets to live with bypasses all that pressure because you’re still doing your bit but without the politics. When I worked at my peak for animal rights and welfare I had not long before suffered an assault in my own home. It was a frenzied attack which left me for dead. I had been hit with a glass. Repeatedly punched in my face and head. My hair torn out. The final blow, just as I was going to pass out anyway, he pulled my head back up and kneed me in the face. My eldest son had to feed me with a straw on Christmas day. I found solace in helping animals and this was part of my recovery. But I still worked. I set up websites for animal organisations. Barely made enough to eat a good meal but it was something. I lived in the attic at my youngest sons house for years. I was very unwell. And I was vulnerable. A lot of bad things happened as I was so naive. But I was determined to get up and try to find a new life.
It is hard to accept that there may be people out there who feel thrilled to know I was physically harmed. And to have that kind of mindset will mean they can do the same. Which is scary. To feel a thrill at the thought of inflicting any kind of hatred, is to be guilty.
I am not a do-gooder. I have made mistakes. My greatest being, I have spent too many years looking for adventures, or rather they find me. But last year I decided to slow down. I became tired, realising, I am growing into a much older person. I have spent the last almost five years, on St Chads Road in Blackpool. I have worked very hard. Met lots of people. And at this point I must say 80% of them have been magnificent. The 20% were the folk that took advantage of a Groupon Offer at the first bed and breakfast I managed. Nobody was to blame; it was an experiment that went wrong. Because they all turned up having paid £72 for 3 nights and Groupon worded it, ‘with a free evening meal.’ It meant one meal. But most of them argued that not only should they get a free breakfast each day but also a free meal each night. They were the scroungers of society. People I would not want to bump into anywhere. They had appalling manners and stole stuff from the rooms. And here is a thing, many of them turned up in fancy cars and wore posh clothes.
They didn’t give a shit about me and I think I got about two reviews out of 300 vouchers. It was hell. I stood in my power, buckled down and I served them. But not with a smile. I actually told them what I thought of them. I explained Groupon had made a mistake but not one of them gave me any leniency. They ensured they got the full works. And most of them didn’t eat all their breakfast. They just ordered everything on the menu because it was free. Greedy bastards.
That said the rest of the experience has been enlightening in one way or another. Belleva being a couple’s hotel for a relaxing break (not swingers …. I may add) I have never met so many great people. Men who treat their women like princesses. So much love out there. We read all the bad stuff, but in the real world, love really does exist. I think any of you will agree, being treated with a genuinely loving gesture is the most gorgeous thing. I have seldom felt unsafe in my line of work as a hotelier. Infact I feel more secure when I do have guests, as I know they would take care should there ever be a problem. I have had guests help me clean, check the place before bed. Turn off the lights, etc. Basically, they have treated my place like their own home.
Last winter, I slowed things down. I have personal matters to build on and my mom needs to settle into new ways since losing dad. I want to see my kids happy. We have all been through so much of recent years, some more than others and the vulnerable have been hit the hardest. Destitution, sickness, depression, fear. Most of our careers now have been forced to go online, one way or another. I think the pandemic made a lot of people feel very isolated. Where going to work became a routine, suddenly more people were at home. And it affected a lot of younger men in particular. Men do have a natural born sense of responsibility. To feel in control. Whereas women are good at multi-tasking and adjustment. Men do need to feel stable in their ability to go about their ways. So, for a typically average male, suddenly being unable to work or go up the pub. To watch a football match, sent many into a state of isolation and loneliness.
Sadly, numerous males have not yet recovered and go on with this sense of solitude. Men are very misunderstood in society. And a great thing about hospitality is you get to meet all types of people, not just for a fleeting second but for a weekend. And you get to trust in them. To realise most people are good. I go out wandering too and I speak to lots of people, especially around Blackpool. But sometimes I just sit with myself. And I listen to what I have to say. I believe that abuse and intimidation towards women is at an all time high. It is a combination of technology, for instance social media and then stuff like spyware. Also forced relationships and child exploitation. This is a subject that is endless. But because of the prevalence of this abuse, all men are getting tarred to the same brush. This is just not fair.
Men are giving other men a bad stigma. And women are under the apprehension all men are bad. That they should not trust strangers and every male presence is a possible threat to them. I haven’t got my own daughter, although I do have women who are like daughters to me. And I think I would instill into a girl going out alone (for instance) that she should be cautious. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t get her drink spiked etc.
My youngest son recently said to me, he doesn’t chat with women when he goes out because she may think he is intruding on her space. And other men have told me they have been scorned for holding a door open for a woman, as it could be construed as regarding her of a weaker sex. Well, let’s be honest. Having experienced extreme assault, men are much stronger than women. We are the weaker sex. But we are also empowered and we give life. We are blessed with the vagina. A flower of beauty and we have breasts to produce milk.
When I came to Lytham last year to help with a family home, I saw it as a new beginning to feel inclusive and settled. At peace to revitalise and reflect on my life. It really has been tough but I am no quitter. Life can be tough for all of us. And a lot depends on what goals we set out to achieve. Whilst some wish for fame and success, others may want just the simple things. We may desire to pursue a career in health work or fashion. Or to work in a factory environment with a strong routine. To work nights or shifts to suit a household. Or to be a stay-at-home parent. And on … and on.
We also need time to find hobbies, ways to relax and unwind either within our own space or group environments. It is healing and distracts from addictions and obsessions that can become a tedious cycle of misery.
I do tarot. I do this for my own interest. It is a way to interpret my intuition. Thing is, when life gets bad for me, I have in the past over done it. I think one card a day is fine. Or one reading a week. The last few days my card has been ‘the devil.’ The devil card in tarot is the Major Arcana and it means that something is trying to control us. That we could possibly be the result of addiction. It is not a particularly negative card, since it is telling us be aware of such energy and to work more with the light.
Using money and manipulation to harm another is never going to bring a healthy resolution to anything. And I think when a person who has extreme wealth turns to that kind of thought process, there is a very dangerous mechanism that needs to be challenged. Money is essential, nobody in this modern age can possibly survive without it. If you combine a fortune of wealth with an unhealthy mind, anything could go wrong. I think we all see very rich people as elite. Living a life where anything is affordable. Yet can you imagine if each and every one of us had their kind of wealth? Where we could afford to do anything we wanted? I think mankind would become extinct very quickly.
Whereas one person may invest in an animal rescue center. Another an art emporium for the homeless to craft. Or a dozen yachts in Bermuda. Someone else may spend that money paying for technology to stalk another. To implement spyware around their frequent places. To recruit a firm to hack their computer. In turn spending most of their life watching that other person live theirs without permission. They may steal your entire existence. Then they judge you. Despite the fact their own activities involve watching someone else’s entire life. Hardly a fair balance. And a lot of hypocrisy.
I think we are all capable of having obsessive thoughts and addictions. I have had plenty. Ranging from collecting junk, drinking too much wine and for some years, social media. But I realised, this was a problem. And getting back to my first paragraph. Being hateful or having bad intentions towards another, is something we should learn to over come as we grow up. To mold ourselves into better people. As if we take our traits and mistakes forwards with us into our later years, we have served no purpose with our history. Sometimes we need to slow down to find our flaws and work on the parts of ourself that are only doing harm. We have to let go of living in a permanent state of inner child, where we excuse ill deeds for ignorance. No person should want a living being as a punch bag, either physically, emotionally or both.People at the hands of bullying and persecution are taking their own lives and this is not comedy. This is abuse. It is heartbreakingly sad for so many victims of those who deny every day ‘freedom of voice and actions’ to bring meaningless harm. Refusing to grow but to remain in a childhood pattern. We can all take responsibility for ourselves and our actions and clean up this often horrid world with kindness and tolerance.
The aspects we crave from others are the aspects we need to find within our own soul. Nothing should be stolen. And every person is entitled to their freedom and privacy. That said, we need CCTV in many places to protect us from the very harm that could derive from the stalker and those he recruits to bring misery. So abusing our rights to privacy in a back handed way is jeopardising the fundamental principle of authorised safety.
I believe in life, it is better enjoyed by working on our own inner peace. And not being wicked. Love is a two way thing. Stalking is not romance.
I wish all of you the best. Have a lovely week. It is time to feed the pets.
I have history. A lot of it. But I have never slept around. don’t need to. i am a kinky, classy thing in my own right. my right. Yeah, I made a few mistakes when I was learning all about life. A life that until recently, has not needed shelter from tech and abuse.
At the age of 13 I was on the back of motorbikes without a helmet. It killed my parents, as I would vanish for weeks. I even managed to hitchhike around Europe, at the age of 16. Good cheese, bread, red wine. I sent the odd postcard. I was the only girl allowed on the runs with the bikers. In those days, any bloke who hurt a woman’s feelings without due cause, got a right bad hard slap. So, therefore they didn’t even dare to hurt the feminine, to include Mothers, Daughters and the one, the bomb, The Missus.
Today’s world of technology is a haven for stalkers and cowards. And I am sick of hearing about abuse, harm, mental torture, cruelty and control over women, in the virtual dimension which leads to real invasion in our own spaces. And it is the ones who so falsely claim to fight our corner, that throw the most stones with their talk, money, back handed tech and bullshit.
Nobody is responsible for the way any of us feel. Get out there and get over it. Grow up and live your own world. Cos taking someone else’s is something you never really own. Faith. Faith in God. Our very existence and in so many forms, beyond all comprehension. Why do humans blame the purest source of infinity for their own misgivings and mistakes. Deal with your own shit and be a real man. Women don’t need anymore torture. Anywhere. We always get home. I call upon the UK Government for more transparency and less tolerance toward stalking and abuse. The onset of harm.
Tiff Harper 
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