Dealing with pain and embracing new courage

A bit late to post this, I promised each Monday but since routine can be out of sync there’s not always enough to say from our creative mind or we just aren’t in the mood. I must try to keep on target.

Still not recovered from Billy the little rescued street cat vanishing. I have thought a lot about it. He literally did just vanish and what killed me most was the endless days and nights we both connected fighting for each breath he took. He was so very wild and sick but also happy to have found a forever home and a family. I won his trust and vice versa. He never wanted to go outside or even leave my bedroom. And when he made his best recovery, he lived in the drawer beneath my bed with his own blankets and toys and when I went to bed he would sleep above my head. Often, he would smile or even have a little tear of joy. I adored Billy. And it would not be wrong to suggest if victim to a hate attack, he was arranged to be stolen. The saddest thing is my dogs are traumatized, when I go out they worry and Angel isn’t eating and Buddy won’t let me out his sight. We all loved Billy. He was one of the tribe. If there was bad intention, you must feel so special to know you are an animal abuser. And it is fact abusers go on to harm people. Such types are the scum of humanity.

As children, most of us iron ourselves out in preparation for adult life. And last week I visited a hostel where I spoke with younger people who are victims to bullying, both on and offline. How it affects their families, work, home and mindset. I think nowadays we are as a nation more empathetic towards bullying than when I grew up (many years ago …) Where we were taught to just get on with it. And many issues left unaddressed that can go on to scar us in later years.

But it is rare in today’s society for an adult to be the playground bully. Often bullies have their own issues and rather than seek help, transfer all of that onto somebody else who is different or seemingly vulnerable.

With Billy, it was losing his trust. I believed I would always keep him safe. And if he has died it would have been alone and suffering and possibly to the former state he was in when I rescued him. It is unbearable to think any person out there wished him to suffer. Beyond all comprehension.

I don’t have enemies; I have always got along with everybody. That is apart from a couple of neighbours, but then that is due to a resentment of change and progress. I never took it personally. I expected no less. I see the good things around me.

I volunteered to have counseling. And they were lovely. The person I spoke with said, ‘you are not here because we do not believe you are being stalked. You are here so we can help you through it.’ And those words made me feel so very complete in my well being. Also returning to Twitter has helped since that is where it all began over ten years ago. I came along way since then. Getting my own house, moving to Blackpool. Being a voice for the community. Not so much on St Chad’s. But out there within the suburbs. And I set up an Instagram page named Blackpool Cat that quietly shared the real Blackpool. Such a soulful place and full of acceptance and diversity. The best community there is so far. I will always love Blackpool.

I have learned so much on Twitter about AI, politics, technology and unacceptable behaviour from keyboard warriors who are very rude to others to the point of sending sheer abuse. But that’s a reflection of the human race. I suppose it keeps the streets safe if they can pent it out online. Then there are others who portray themselves as super beings, but really, they don’t come from a happy place. I myself have given my opinion freely on matters, but then I do the same in the real world. I would never hide behind the internet. I love a good debate.

I sent my letter to somebody very extraordinary who has helped me in ways I cannot even begin to tell you that are from my heart. I wrote loads of notes, they were wrong, then it all just came out organically in one swoop. I didn’t read it back. Just posted it. It’s made me feel good to do so. We all should write more. The written word gives us more privacy. Though rather stupidly put a number on it not realizing it was a bar code. I will get there. When I love I do so fiercely and when I am hurt I walk away. Our hearts are evolving organs of hope and new beginnings.  But we must also know love is progressive and circumstances change. That’s why it is so important to identify it is fine to move on to new opportunities when we get that special moment.

The past is done and gone. To hold on to the past is to remain locked in a system that cannot serve any purpose. Learn from it and grow towards the future. The best relationships I know are when two people hold hands and work through the thorns and weeds together, knowing there will always be flowers and real love can combat anything. You get out what you put in. It takes two and a lot of hard work. To not drag third parties into the equation. To talk and be honest with one another. We should never have to change for love, because most of all, love is about acceptance and trust. And opposites do attract. Because if you both have different topics to bring to the table, you will never be bored. And I also believe for those in relationships, don’t play away from home, sort it out or let it go. Nobody else needs or wants your aggravations.

Anything can be taken from the land of tech. And only one is six women report stalking for fear of being ridiculed. But murders are often carried out by what set out as stalking traits. They don’t know when to stop in belief they have a connection that is never going to be there. I really do send sympathy to any person, male or female who has lost their freedom because of it. But I can tell you, never be silenced because there are always people out there who will help. Name and shame and don’t suffer in silence. Look for the good things and keep moving.

Spent a few days taking all my pictures off my phone. Nature, the streets, memories in general and even losing my dad and the garden. When I rescued Billy, the pets, etc. I will suggest you all think about doing the same, as if your phone gets hacked you could lose your memories at the click of their finger. Got mine all buried away on a USB now. Isn’t it crazy how one week your life is what you made it yourself and the next you are the subject of bad intention and obsession? That said, evil has no destination. Love always finds a way. Self-love is the beginning. To enjoy your own space and time and the rest follows. People who do not know how to deal with their own shortfalls may put that baggage our way but it doesn’t make things right.

We all get to the same place in the end. And that’s when justice starts and despair ends. Be well everybody and take responsibility for yourselves. None of us are ever going to be perfect here but we can at least try to be kind. Not to pretend or to take it but to mean it. And I have my faults but I do good stuff and send no harm. Am proud of that.

With Love. X

Why Independent Sex Workers help women by Tiffany Belle Harper.

If you don’t get out and need a good book idea, here’s some food for thought. True story by the way. Here goes! I wrote this very quickly.

I applaud sex workers. It never should be a taboo subject. Since the beginning of mankind women have been brave enough to offer services to keep everyone else safe. And in view of recent events for which have taken place in my life since the end of November 2022, this just reaffirms my opinion. That said, such a profession should be one of free will. Since no person should be exploited, groomed or forced into the industry.

For instance, there are women who choose to share their home and day to day lives to voyeurs, who pay to watch the cameras set around their homes or studios. These wonderful women make a good living and why shouldn’t they. They have undertaken the task to share their lives to those who require such a service.

And this is a double edged sword, because say for instance, a man is feeling lonely within his relationship. Yearning for more. Is intrigued by the risqué nature of peeping into the world of another. Then he must dig deep and pay for such a service. His wife knows not of this but in turn his relationship with his significant other improves. As he discovers that now his life has more depth, with his newfound vice. And what he lacks at home is paid for by means of a service. The woman he chooses to stalk with consent, makes a living from his nosiness.

And I know these workers can make as much as four to five hundred quid an hour. Leeds taught me well. I knew great people. I admire any woman who turns her skills to feed her children. And it’s not money laundering. Punters pay online by debit or credit card, marked discretely for the benefit of a shared bank statement. The salary for the woman is taxable and she registers as self employed. As a therapist or model. It’s all legal. Good luck to them! Everyone is happy. Perhaps not his wife, if she was to discover this sudden happiness given to her, comes from the life of paid access to working girls spaces.

But then I assume it is better for his wife to live in denial, since after all, her man is a less hungry person for his other (secret) fetish and perverted desire. He now wanks more regularly and grins like a cat. In belief his life is more wholesome. While the working girl buys herself nice things. Takes the kids to the cinema or chills out with her girlfriend. For probably she is glad to be out of the daze of males. A lot of working girls are gay, I have found.

On the other hand you can have a man who does not have permission to invade the space of a woman. A woman who is not a sex worker, who has not opened her world to strangers. Who chooses to be as she lives, while sharing only her secrets with her true and one love, for which they thrive together quite happily. This man, the Peeping Tom (a millionaire – a hoarder) a phycological rapist bombards himself into their secrets, looking for ways to find out who she speaks with, what she is planning and how her private world is. He takes without conscience, he feeds his depression with the lives of those who embody a contentment within their true tribes. Raping her of any form of solitude or space. Taking what does not belong to him. A repulsive, vulgar scum bag, living in a sea of lies. Relishing that swift opportunity to see her naked. Unbeknown to her, the times she walked from the shower to find her clothes for the day or pyjamas for bed. This vulgar man living in a delusional world of a forced relationship, had repeatedly raped the law of humanity and the right to privacy.

And I would say to any person if you want to expand your cravings, pay a specialist and don’t be a rapist.

Tiffany Belle Harper.

Two Real Examples of Most Recent Invasive Rape and Abuse in the UK

A thirty six year old woman in Blackpool, living and rearing her children, in what is regarded to be one of the most deprived regions of the town, is strip searched at 12.30am. whilst her children cry in another room in her home, having had their phones taken by the police.

She has been at work all day with one of her three jobs, raising money to feed her family. She hasn’t had time to shower. She is asked to remove her top, then bra. She is examined. Even her hair must be unleashed from the clasp. She is told to put the items back on, then remove her pants and trousers. To stand with her legs apart. She is told if she resists she will be restrained and her clothes cut off her. a woman of dignity. A mother.

The Abuses of the Law, Plate 7 by Hendrick Goltzius is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

A multi-millionaire in an affluent part of London has paid a third party to stalk a fifty eight year old woman, with no motive other than obsession. Cameras, drones and unauthorised access to public CCTV cameras. Keyloggers in her phone and laptop. He watches her come and go from the shower. Reads her messages and makes anonymous attacks of blackmail, harm and misery to her friends and family using targeted formulas behind the façade of his social media account.

He continues to build wealth.

We live in a world like this.

May God Help Us.

Tiffany. X

As a british citizen I call upon the UK government to stand for victims of stalking, abuse and intimidation. To address our basic rights to privacy at home and in the work place.

I call upon The British Government across all parties to unite in tougher laws against common stalking. Where every claim of a stalking offence is fully investigated, regardless of how unlikely that claim may initially seem. To include the use of hidden spy cameras, phone hacking, car and GPS trackers, web and Alexa sabotage, allowing a coward to operate anywhere in the world using portable magnetic, web and radio spyware.

Stalking is a violation of basic human rights that can destroy lives. It imprisons the victims and removes their right to privacy. We must bring maximum penalties and full exposure and a register to name and shame stalkers. Stalking is the highest form of cowardice and can in many cases, result in physical harm to the victim. Stalkers are of the belief they can take the privacy of another without their permission. It is psychological abuse and mental torture. No person should feel invaded or imprisoned in their personal space, at work or any vicinity.

People are being traced online as home workers to find their precise locations and pursued across social accounts, regardless of the blocking facilities, thus denied their basic rights to earn an income or lead normal lives. And a stalker may observe family, friends and routines to establish the whereabouts of the sufferer.

The UK will not be a free society until stalking is taken seriously and addressed on every level, to catch the sick mind of a coward and bring the Peeping Tom to justice in a court of law. As such, stalkers are mentally sick and a danger to society. A stalker lives in denial and when this person has too much time and money on their hands, it may become a spiralling, endless obsession. Stalkers are dangerous to themselves, their mindset – but most of all the innocent sufferers. And many stalkers appear to lead normal lives, little beknown to those around them the horror they cause in their ‘other’ world of jealousy and self-dissatisfaction. Stalkers are unhappy and morose in their thought patterns – taking pleasure from the sense of control and bad intention firmly rooted within them.

A stalker may be reluctant to seek help or any form of counselling for their disorder, believing it is all the fault of the victim and probably everything else they cannot control. A stalker is delusional and dangerous in need of attention by any means. A stalker in many cases will live by mood swings (peaks and troughs) with addictions to enhance self-confidence. Making
the wrong decisions under the influence of mind alerting substances, alcohol (not limited to but) being the most common.

A stalker will have a perpetual need for any means of attention, praise or credit, finding it hard to obtain any sense of spiritual awareness or self-peace. They may be reluctant to engage in sport or group activities, where they are unable to control the outcome. The thought of losing or not being in control of any situation is their downfall, as in turn they are unable to live in a real world of day-to-day life experiences, for which most of us deal with as part of  our routines – and this may include parenthood, charity and/or community work in the real world and healthy, happy relationships of equal measures. Where both parties can connect with society on every level, with respect.

A stalker will be insecure and see most situations as ‘rivalry’ or an ‘obstacle.’ They have a fear of not winning or being out shone. Preferring to remain stuck in their own minds with a belief of having to appear greater or better. In turn the stalker may take pleasure in causing further anguish to the victim for any of their own shortfalls, as this is easier than acquiring self-help or an acceptance of their psychotic patterns to intimidate, belittle or bully those who are not able (or reluctant) to fight back. The stalker not having the inner strength to take responsibility for his/her lack of fulfilment, thus choosing obsession and control as an alternative. In turn the stalker becoming stuck in dated views and opinions with the belief they are always right and already know everything (ignorance and self-denial being significant.) And the concerning thing about stalking is because they remain stuck in their own cycle of opinion, they can go on to stalk their victims throughout their life, with
no means to end their cruel indulgences. Or worst still instigate physical harm to the victim.

The stalkers sense of power outweighs any kind of common logic, empathy or acceptance of the harm they ‘will’ on their fixations. And the abuser will take pride in shaming others, in order to shed responsibility for their own ill deeds. Many playground bullies go on to stalk, bully and/or abuse the seemingly vulnerable. Or perpetrators who were bullied during their younger years may go on to enjoy intimidating others in later life, perhaps due to not forgiving or letting go of their own ‘earlier’ life experiences. Either way, these patterns can never be acceptable in a modern, evolving society.

Is ‘stalking’ and ‘intimidation’ what you want for your loved ones? To allow the susceptible and in cases, associated loved ones to be held to hostage in their own homes, and places of work without a voice? I call for immediate action to end phycological baiting and illegal stalking and give all sufferers the protection and assurance they deserve and the right to live in a free society. And for those enlisted to carry out such acts of embedding tracking devices and pin
hole software (for example) to be prosecuted alongside the instigator.

To be a bystander is to play a part in the horrific circumstances inflicted upon those who are at risk. A stalker will target a person he believes to be alone or isolated, because a stalker is a coward and unable to accept, he/she is never going to be a part of the victim’s aspirations or future plans. They refuse to accept this or to live in their own alignments. Bringing misery and desperation to the target. Stalking is hard line abuse.

I hope this blog can help at least one person to get past unnecessary hardship and provocation. Furthermore, I have written a ‘self-help’ book with plenty of practical advice about this topic. Showing factual cases of sublime threats, locations, personal details and information from a stalker who uses phycological techniques, numerical and detailed references to real time personal events, coinciding with dates and synchronicities as a result of technical intrusion. It is a systematical diary and reference for those who seek support. This is a book that is now with an educated friend, agent and editor for whom I have known for many years and has followed such events in detail with this particular subject and field. Also, how to track various forms of spyware, then associate it to the origin for further ongoing long-term law enforcement and
media investigation.

On a much brighter note, sleep well, all. Most people are just lovely and there’s so much to live for. Remember most real people have busy lives and plenty to do in their own worlds. We are all building life’s tapestry, one way or another. Only a very small minority object to that. We choose who we want around us. And no person has any right to take our freedom.

Confide. Walk Tall. It’s not your fault this is happening to you and most importantly to those who suffer at the hands of abuse or intimidation, as a wise friend who has since passed, once told me, we are stronger together. We are survivors and things can get better. Speak with loved ones and never confront or agree to negotiate any kind of resolve with a prowler/abuser. They will use this to gain your awareness, causing further harm.

Tiff. X