Month: February 2021
Mess and Mood by Tiffany Belle Harper – February 2021
Sunday always has such a personal vibe about it. And I decided to let go of all that has no value to me. Unfortunately, most things that did, have since been stolen from my flat in Blackpool. For months it broke my heart how anyone could do this to me – but you either get on with it, or fester on the bad intent. Either way it is in the past and that is where it stays. I am over it and I only have me to blame for being too busy to realise it was happening over a long period of time. I have learned a tough lesson and it will not happen again in a hurry.
Blackpool is like anywhere else in that you move to a new area and you do not know anybody. Blank pages – and it takes time to fill those pages. The chapters begin and you live through your own book. However, I don’t have time to write that much, so my book is the colourful things that really do happen to us each day. We live. We learn. We teach. We give thanks. We grow.
I am hugely sensitive; particularly if someone faults my parenting or my pets welfare. That is a big no for me. So, watch it! Cos I will have you in a court room before you know it. Apart from that, I can deal with most stuff. I am an adult and if something offends me it is probably because I glanced at it or gave that person or people too much of my precious time. So, dealing with how my hours pass is a big obstacle for me that I am doing well at these days. Because recent events have shown us we have support and love around us from people who have been about for many years. And as we expand our circles we can often overlook the most ‘significant others’ in our hearts who really do want the best. Less is More.
Getting back to letting go of mess. I am transitional once more. I have stockpiled a lot of personal junk – deciding my money works better not to buy nice things for ‘me’ in favour of cheaper stuff as when you were repeatedly robbed, you pause before you spend. I wear my clothes hard. I am on my knees scrubbing. Bleaching. Washing, baking, cooking, and having the pets jumping on us. Therefore, I do need to remind myself more than often to throw things away when they are tatty … despite … loving ragged.
I have opened the doors to guests here, the place is spotless, checked them into their rooms, felt a sense of accomplishment. That is until, I happen to look in a mirror (I do not have one in the flat). I see a woman who is covered in bits of food, sometimes seaweed and sand, wax, paint, cleaning supplies and pet fluff, with un-brushed hair and sometimes dirty teeth. Yes. You work seven days a week during high season. You fall into bed and you get out of it again. And that dirty bitch is no less than ME! Ha! Your time is service. I see other hoteliers looking pristine. I used to wonder how they did it, then decided not to give a shit as I am what I am. That was until I made the decision to put out my clothes the night before. Got a towel by the shower, with my toiletries ready to wash and set the alarm an hour earlier. Remember, I have the pets to feed and care for before we start to cook breakfast for sometimes 25 plus people.
I do have help. I am blessed. But still, I am constantly at logger heads with my own routine. So today I am not holding what I like. I am keeping what I plan to wear in the next six months, which covers most weather. I am letting go of what holds me back. Fabric makes dust. I don’t have a wardrobe here. Instead, two clothes rails and they do make dust! Where I am going has a gorgeous big bespoke hand-crafted triple pine wardrobe that’s painted in a creamy colour. My two rails of clothes won’t fit in it. I have visions of this stunning piece of sustainable furniture being accompanied by a clothes rail rammed into a convenient gap in the apartment and it spoils our new bedroom completely. Then I will be flustering about where to put everything that I don’t really use or need but have become attached towards. Back to square one. So, I am being ruthless with me today and letting much of it go to allow for ‘the new’ with less baggage.
I have spent much of my live living in small spaces. And when I visit people with big spaces, I don’t envy them because all I see is more work. More clutter. More responsibility.
Travel light and live for adventure. If you are not going to use the rooms then why buy space. It is just a statement. That said my darlings, Belleva House is a hotel. A place that will go to work with us. Somewhere that yes we will run around at night and the pets will explore, but the apartment is where we snuggle and slumber.
But then, there is our arty stuff, the crafting. Wax, mica powders, mannequins, pans and brushes. Sigh … they shall have to stay. Where would our lives be without our toys for progress in our heart journeys.
Photo with this blog is my big boy Ashley. Our kids never grow up they just get bigger. Every person needs a Mum type person in their life. This photo is about 5 years old. I since lost my doggy in it. He was 21 and died in my arms. Never got over it and never want to. I love you Foley.
Now am going to tackle a huge clean washing pile in the bathroom that I have walked past so often I forgot it wasn’t a permanent fixture.
Namaste!
Tiff. X
February 2021 – Hello by Tiffany Belle Harper
Some time out has helped me fall in love with ‘blogging’ once more. I used to write here for my own comfort and sanity. Sometimes asked ‘what’s my niche?’ As here is not about one specific thing. But hey, a blog can be about anything or nothing. It’s a place that’s free to store or share. I am 55 and I have never had a fixed routine. I have a ‘free spirit’ where some like constancy, we hate it. Of course, I have my anchors in loved ones to include pets. But my life has changed so significantly these last few years It has ‘in turn’ made me think about what I share online.
I work in the public eye, whereas previously I was entirely nomadic. Embracing a ‘get up and go’ to a cottage or hut to explore new ‘natural’ territory alone. No fear. I would put up a tent on a hill and think nothing of sleeping in rough and rugged wild territory. I cannot do that as much now. But then I am lucky I ever had the chance to exercise my freedom to the full extent. I am really thankful as this freedom has made me who I am. Sometimes unmanageable and very honest about how I feel and how things affect me.
If you can’t tell the truth, then what is the point of having a tongue. It is disappointing our fingers on a keyboard have made so many real people voiceless. We can be any type of thing on the internet, even an animal. Time draining, fat consuming and a portal to addiction. Though, without a doubt, it is good to escape when we can remember it’s not permanent. That we do all have a life of some kind waiting for us to live. And that is not necessarily on social media. It is about balance. A healthy balance that makes us feel complete about our lives each day. Each hour. Each time we feel depressed or alone in our hearts.
There are alternatives and choices. Even during lockdown. To bake, do the gardening, craft, take a walk, to learn a new skill. To look through our junk and see if there’s something we could make from our rubbish. To upcycle. To be inspired by influencers who have positive activities for which we may engage. There are no heroes – we are all worthy of doing great things, regardless of how life makes us feel. As long as you sleep at night knowing you have made your day work for you, that is all that matters. To sleep well with your conscience and self-gratitude. You are worth it.
I always have blogs in my head, but I think I became distracted more by social media. It made lazy, that coupled with a fear of sharing ‘the real me’ publicly. But then life is short, we should never feel so oppressed that we hide away. That’s when depression and deep thinking set in. We can put ourselves into a lonely black hole where nobody can find us. And we can only see algorithms and the same faces over and over again.
It is not weak to share how we really feel and who we truly are. It is our birth right. We all have a voice. There is no such thing as a perfect life or ‘lifestyle and there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ family or relationship. We are born with these imperfections and then we go through life gathering our own experiences to manifest into something more focused for our own destinations. The greatest gift of all is love. With love comes security and focus to try harder. Be better. To know we have the right support. To allow for mistakes and to be patient. To not be judged. To listen and learn from different viewpoints.
I have been making soap, wax melts. I have a business in Blackpool where I lease a business in hospitality. I have gone on to buy my own place that is ‘work in progress’ and I still write and love photography, plus tech. These are my hobbies.
We are in lockdown. I do not disagree with this. I do hate that so many people are losing their livelihoods, I want to help them all. It is a terrible predicament. But we must ride the storm until we can control the death rates and illness that comes with the virus before us. That said there is also an epidemic of mental health issues not to mention ailments and life-threatening diseases not being addressed because of the focus on the pandemic. We need to come together and support where we can. Check out those hiding away. The quiet ones.
Nonetheless, I realise that firstly, before anything else, I need to look after me. We open our doors and heart; we get eaten alive. This can leave us depleted. Love is when we give and take. Less is More. I hate to feel smothered or obliged by those who expect me to dance on eggshells. My personal ‘heart people’ are on one hand. ENOUGH. The rest is work and focus. It’s tough being in business. Especially in this climate of such great upheaval. But we need to listen to nature. She is telling us she wants our help collectively.
Friendship and love are about accepting our free ways and not trying to disfigure them. I have spent much of my life on a guilt trip I am ‘not‘ doing enough for others, most of whom would do fuck all for me but then we do not give to expect and equally we can only give so much. All that baggage is gone. And I must stay on track! Less is More …
Please read here with me as much as you can and look at my other posts, because I want to talk with you about crafting. I want to rant. I want to show you what I am doing in Blackpool. My blog (since 2014) is sporadic and has no system but It’s my space and I love to be around people as much as I enjoy my own time. Thanks for dropping by. You can subscribe to my blog and it will be sent directly to your inbox! Please get involved. Also for special offers and latest news on my hotel. I do meet my online friends. I am a very ‘real’ person! But we must wait for life to heal.
So finally, here’s a couple of cheap meals. I found these pots of mash potato in Heron Foods. I think I paid about 40p. They are just delicious. And then I made a leafy salad with jalapeno peppers, tomatoes, onion, Mexican relish and grapes! It barely touched the sides .. tasted SOOO good – yom! Look after yourselves. Money or not, we can eat on the cheap.
Even when I am at work where I can cook anything, I go in favour of hot pots. You can make a huge bowl of whatever you want to last for a couple of days, when kept in the fridge – better still, freeze it or share with friends. I tend to buy frozen bulk vegetables now, also frozen fruit as when I am on my own, I hate to throw excess away, but if you do, veg and fruit make great compost and the birds like fruit too. I will soon share some of my hot pot baking. We are what we eat and baking at home improves our personal carbon footprint. Less packaging a happier planet! Says me the hypocrite with a pot on my PC of potato. But hey … I believe it’s the first pot or packet I have purchased in a long time. (Mash being one of my favourite comfort foods).
🤍 Tiff 🤍 