Category: Diary

The Little Things.Trust, Fighting back and True Love Empaths

It’s good to stay active one way or another using the internet. All too often we can fall to silence in favour of privacy. Which is imperative to maintain our own blueprints. To have our own time with nature, animals, family and most of all ‘self.’ I guess it is about balance.

Recent months have changed the way I look at life and also my mindset. The way a bad spell of purpose can throw us off our intended paths. The attention of unwanted people on and off line, who seek to send harm and bad outcomes. I suppose it happens to all of us at some time in our lives. And through these experiences I have learned much of those who have some kind of resentment toward another, may do so because they are unable to address their own weaknesses within their often-fake outward perspective. But it is not our job to fix people. Instead we must remain away from their energy.

An empath will seek the balance in situations but equally may take on too much. When really, less is more in terms of responsibility … our personal world and space often becoming overlooked. It may seem that an empath is an easy target because they are not afraid to show their feelings and emotions. But this is a strength. To be original and our own unique self without any need to mislead others. There are chiefs and Indians, society needs both. Every great pioneer needs their muse.

I have tried to continue with my book but unfortunately there was evidence a third party had managed to logon to my personal word docs. It is clearly obvious who it is. And what a shame there seems a constant ongoing need to invade my data. But this is life. I think if someone gave me a magic wand and said I was able to read into the phone or laptop of another, I would hand it back. Because I am an activist in that I believe each of us has a right to be protected by the laws of Data Privacy Protection. And that protection is also available by our chosen loved one to over see the potential of harm and threats on our behalf. As good as the web is for delegation and information, the internet is a festering space for cowards to make others feel isolated, alone and often in despair. The run-aways of society who often use a falsely portrayed hierarchy to inflict misery toward vulnerability. Yet an empath does not seek approval such like those driven by ego. It takes courage to be genuinely kind in this dimension.

I applaud Elon Musk for what he has pioneered with his now Twitter platform. A new territory for him, amongst other topics. And I know a lot have resented Elon for his wealth. But I don’t believe his initial agenda was to become rich beyond words. He followed an insight to work with physics, tech and engineering aspects, pushing beyond his ability, thus delivering great sustainable and progressive change to the world of industry and innovation. And somebody has to do it. We can all use our gifts how we wish to do so. I think with Twitter it will take tweaks and trials to create a more ideal platform to its former self. And to encourage people to create and write more. Posting quick reactions/statements less, may hopefully entice humans to consider their passions more deeply, with less about hashtags and emojis and worshiping those who seek applause for doing very little. A system partially made up of lazy and inaccurate thinking with little stability in the real world.

It will also aid those who may lack confidence and expression to become more confident. Particularly humans who have in the past felt excluded. I like the idea of setting up small groups with mentors. As opposed to the less worthy ‘high profiles’ and ‘fans.’ That said there are good role models out there who have public presence. But we have to be careful of bias with agenda behind it. And that applies to politics. A very corrupt industry right across the world. And indeed, a great deal of abuse and bullying lies within such corridors. It is not a job I could ever participate with. There are so many haters out there. And I often wonder why, if they have such a strong opinion, do they not undertake such a career in order to be heard with some kind of dignity. And with protestors, if a group of people feel so strongly to be heard, there really needs to be a common ground, because passion for change is not a crime when there is debate. To arrest in particular younger people and lock them away for wanting to help the planet will only create an ongoing hostility for their ambition. That said, public safety is important, to include privacy.

As tech evolves and AI (artificial intelligence) those who are not of stable minds will be given the tools to destroy others behind a keyboard, a lens or Smart Phone. And that worries me. I don’t want to spend my life changing passwords, having to restore factory settings to devices and be conscious of invasion when trying to speak to loved ones or work from home. But that’s the way this world is going unless you are privileged enough to bypass the basic methods for which most of us are limited to.

I never thought these last months could be so tough, but good did come. And it’s true the best things arrive through our darkest hours. I am sorry since some of what I have put above is repetitive. Yet I guess with over ten years of continuous abuse it all had to explode somewhere. I had assumed it would be going on for the rest of my life. But not the case. I stood in my power, shouted about it and did not give up fighting for my life. And I tell you why, I do have a spiritual faith and I am never alone.

It is a pity we cannot all take time to tap into the higher good because it is the most grounding and self-fulfilling form of healing there is and such consciousness will help us find new myriads and pathways to the people who want to give us hope and support. More so true love where both parties give mutually. I was living from one day to the next in fear. I really believed nobody would come to help. That bystanders would pretend it was not happening to me. But then how could any of us stop the unthinkable when it is all done by means of financed force.

And people who are in denial of such hateful acts of social power will never be content. Worst than evil is to allow it. Regardless of how many prizes they win, money they stack in the banks, or seemingly perfect lives they lead. You have to first suffer to realise there is always a shining star. The Yin and Yang. To feel despair and hardship, making a better future with clarity and light. But to also know that each and every one of us is deserving of a good and abundant life. To accept help, to surrender to love and to work with the love, because there are always new doors that are better together infinitively. And I so want more than anything to do as best as I can to not only work with my heart but to support my life purpose and good things.

I am better with my heart open than closed, fearful and afraid. Life is too short. But I want my privacy. Every person who wishes to thrive publicly needs his counterpart. It’s the perfect conjunction. I have never enjoyed the limelight alone, but I do applaud the constructiveness of others with great qualities on that platform of hope. We as a race are better together.

A woman who seems alone will eventually be targeted and often by those who claim to fight her corner. Be aware and tread with caution. There’s some real evil out there waiting for a gap to spread his own diseased mind to her peace and space. Women need help and women are the Lotus Flower of hope and love.

Tiffy Belle

This is all waffle. Not premeditated (as you can probably tell) since I am not so keen on sharing these days, as I am so very transitional. I have other stuff on my mind. But I feel brave. Just because you want to be quiet does not make any person a victim to the emotional shit from others who do not deal with their own baggage responsibly.

I don’t wish anyone harm. But I do know karma does work itself out in the end. And although the good seemingly suffer more on Earth. It won’t always be like that. We all get our awards universally. Time is truly boundless and faith tests us. If a flower is in the right soil and light it will be perfect during its life. If it cannot grow we change it’s position for next time. Nature gives us the right tools and it is down to society use to use them with love.

Thank you beautiful people and play Jazz because there’s so many styles of it, you will find the one right for you. Jazz does not want to harm anyone or tell you how to think. It’s love music. I have also been making my own tea and have a compost bin. Although it’s gonna take time to fill. So far there’s two banana skins, eight tea bags, a dead bunch of flowers and a bit of grass in it.  But who cares, we are trying our bit here!

Be kind folks and if you don’t like a person, fine leave them alone. They’re probably not too keen on you either. It’s all about being kind in this old world as there’s enough crap out there as it is. Hope everyone has a good week. There is more good in the world than bad. To see the positive. Love wins and love is kindness.

With Love. X

p.s. have been visiting some stunning little independent venues full of design and ambience and taking pics for my mood boards. And I will edit this blog later as it is typed badly but am done with the web for today. Time to poach the perfect free range eggs!

by Tiffany Belle Harper

Two Real Examples of Most Recent Invasive Rape and Abuse in the UK

A thirty six year old woman in Blackpool, living and rearing her children, in what is regarded to be one of the most deprived regions of the town, is strip searched at 12.30am. whilst her children cry in another room in her home, having had their phones taken by the police.

She has been at work all day with one of her three jobs, raising money to feed her family. She hasn’t had time to shower. She is asked to remove her top, then bra. She is examined. Even her hair must be unleashed from the clasp. She is told to put the items back on, then remove her pants and trousers. To stand with her legs apart. She is told if she resists she will be restrained and her clothes cut off her. a woman of dignity. A mother.

The Abuses of the Law, Plate 7 by Hendrick Goltzius is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

A multi-millionaire in an affluent part of London has paid a third party to stalk a fifty eight year old woman, with no motive other than obsession. Cameras, drones and unauthorised access to public CCTV cameras. Keyloggers in her phone and laptop. He watches her come and go from the shower. Reads her messages and makes anonymous attacks of blackmail, harm and misery to her friends and family using targeted formulas behind the façade of his social media account.

He continues to build wealth.

We live in a world like this.

May God Help Us.

Tiffany. X

by Tiffany Belle Harper

rainy afternoon – busy

I love it when I can have time with my immediate surroundings. And when I think about it, I don’t need much. Social Media always leaves me feeling detached and frustrated, as apart from sourcing, networking, and staying close to distant mates and family, it can also start to make us less connected with who we really are.

I like to think that if I form a bond with a human, it could be similar to real life, and it’s not just a means to gain front house popularity. It’s not like when we go to heaven then get asked by the door keepers, ‘so, how many Twitter followers did you get? Or, how much money did you stack up?’ Karmically the universe sees everything anyway. So, what will be, simply is. We are only ever our true intention. And living with a free conscience is true wealth.

We all make mistakes but taking account for our own destiny and purpose is nobody else’s responsibility. Everyone has stuff going on, both good and bad. But some are much worse off than others. It is not so much luck, but who we have around us. Our Tribe. The people who really do help each other through the mess. Sometimes, just by being a listening ear or a hug. Sharing a fag or grabbing a bag of chips to scoff in the park.

With mental illness there is a thin line between being prepared and reaching out for a frame network. And the internet can become a fine line of confusion, since, as much as being a means to share great things, it can equally become a bow and arrow for keyboard warrior’s and those who know how to inflict a precise and calculated hate campaign. Often targeting a seemingly lone person, with the intention and purpose to make that target feel as vulnerable and detached as possible. Various means to this route could range from a desire for fame, money and an/or an ample amount of free time to plan such acts of spite. Either way such calculations derive from the perpetrators own sense of worth and often they turn to the web to push that onto those they envy most. Often a person who lives quite happily without the need of validation from strangers, all day, every day. A vicious cycle.

Either way, the older I get, the more it all jumps out at me. Saddened by the fact there are those that seek drama by means of (cowardly and indirect) disruption when it is so unnecessary. I myself have at times become very low, but after counselling or just speaking with a friend, it becomes apparent I am simply processing how life events have made me feel. Mentally I would describe myself as strong. I know this, as when I am under enormous pressure my adrenalin kicks in. Especially if someone I love is being hurt or bullied. Worse still, if someone I love is being a bully.

I have however, gone on to make real life friends as a result of the internet. And have sourced crafts and trades this way too. But then there are a small majority that offset the positive by creating a simultaneously ‘fake existence’ online. One of which takes residence over their own ‘real life’ world. The broad term ‘stalking’ covers much of above. And can overspill to the target’s friends and family also being scrutinized. And in some cases, books and scripts are created using the base line of the stalker’s often misguided assumptions. Financial wealth is awarded to the prowler. But guess what. The target remains richer in terms of balance and abundance.

That’s why, it is imperative to think above and beyond small minded cycles that serve no purpose to our origin and purpose. That said mental health is a huge factor towards using the internet to seek revenge and reap havoc. Especially during a psychotic outrage of another. This in turn is ‘so far’ completely unvetted by social media hierarchy. I know, I have been on the receiving end. The web being a cry for any means of ‘often the wrong of’ attention. Where the mentally meek will use any means of falsehood to be heard in a sea of sharks. Then, when they get well, everything is back to the real perspective.

But when this happens, a portal opens for the prowlers to become almost ecstatic at discovering such seemingly potential drama, that could not possibly happen in their own ‘white supremacist’ bubble of bullshit. The web makes tribes very vulnerable. Isn’t life so very wicked at times. We just have to know we can turn it off and find happiness all around us. In my case, alleyways, and my my kitchen, where I just cooked myself and Danielle (my housekeeper at the hotel) fajitas with spinach and peppers. Going to have another in a mo, with a skinny coffee fix. Then my time warp of a girl cave (bedroom), where I find absolute inner tranquility. A space that is full of worthlessly sentimental treasures, to include my crystal ball, rocks, shells, driftwood, tarot and pets. It’s indescribably connected to core.

I gave up regular drinking a few years ago. when I realised I was in a cycle of addiction to the internet and booze, due to ill health and grim living conditions. Wine being my ‘then’ poison and a means to numb my constant sense of no confidence. I went on an all out soul-searching, learning curve and during this time set up Pet Service Directories and Animal welfare groups. Through my unstoppable determination, I was subsequently bullied to fuck by an established ‘designer pet group’ and a couple of seemingly do good ‘social influencers,’ who use their money (millions) to tick heads. I hate snobbery.

This all went on for years. A systematic battle for which my faith would not be deterred. But on reflection the feedback and updates I still get to this day, regarding the progress I made for the animals, make it all worthwhile. And my tech skills vastly improved, due to the long haul out of physical service.

As we get older, we look back at life and wonder how we could have done things differently. But what we must remember, we cannot change the past. Only learn and grow away from it.

tiffany belle harper

We must remember there are those that confuse ‘love and admiration’ with ‘jealousy and resentment’. People who do not know how to feel empowered by any other, than themselves. The greatest people alive, are often ‘seemingly’ the most hated at a social glance. Maybe because they are truly loved within their own tribes in the real world. Where this in turn creates rivalry. Popularity indeed walks alleyways and does not need or wish to fill stadiums or win prizes. Wisdom has always been free for us all. Never forget that. Dew glistens brighter than diamonds and we can all afford nature.

Two nights a week I may enjoy a drink. It’s a 9% rose fusion made with strawberries and summer fruits. I thoroughly enjoy it on ice with a splash of tonic. I also have a takeaway and make wax melts, soap and bath fizz. I listen to jazz. I know it sounds boring, but I get off on it. I have a load of rescue pets too.

I was a young mum to two boys. I hardly had a social life. In fact, I cannot remember having one at all. I had an open house for all their mates. Three jobs. I would spend all my spare income on food for the kids. I drove them everywhere. I recall taking them to see Eminen in Milton Keynes. The town was rammed. There was absolutely nowhere to park up to wait for them. So, I rather stupidly drove all the way home, walked the dogs. Put a wash on then drove back. Due to it being so busy it took me 3 hours to get there. It was pouring with rain and my phone battery was dead. So, I got out my old banger of a car and ran around the arena circuit looking for the group I had to take home.

I was so worried, not only that I had lost my own kids, but also the two boys with them. I think they were about 12 and 14 at the time. I had given them strict instructions how to stay safe. And where to meet me. But the place we had arranged, which is where I had dropped them off, was now closed off to divert all traffic. The entire system was mayhem. Eventually finding the boys, I was by now almost wetting myself. I had an old washing up bowl in the boot so hid my best and went for a pee in there. Not one of them thanked me for my efforts to transport them to and from the concert. But we don’t do it for praise. It was their first gig. We do it to fill their lives with good memories. But as they turn to adults, they can all too often forget the things we did in favour of what we did not.

I love my boys, but it has not been easy. I am similar to both of them, but in different ways. I am proud. Our children, no matter what age can break our hearts, repeatedly. And we have to allow them to do that. I want James to move to Blackpool as I think he could nail this town. And I want Ashley to release his confidence with balance and harmony.

I still miss Dad. He was my best friend. I never really knew Mum. But I am trying. Our lives have been so different.

I want to retire before I die. But then work keeps me from over thinking. I sometimes miss blogging so much, now I am living in a goldfish bowl. Not everyone wants to be clapped by strangers. Life is much bigger than that. We are all on the same journey and it’s how we feel with our own space that counts most. Nothing to prove here. Am fine with me. I do good. Best I can.

Finally here is a video by a really good mate of mine, Seca One. Speaking quite openly about his history on the streets, together with his mind and how he turned it into being a successful artist. I hope it can help at least one person. Men tend to suffer in ways that are harder to detect. Often becoming hostile and aggresive. This makes me worry. Men need to be heard in a way that takes away a sense of delusion and guilt shifting.

Tiffany. X

by Tiffany Belle Harper

My Beautiful Adopted Planter by Tiffany Belle Harper

June 15th 2021, I was given the go ahead to leave the rental bed and breakfast I had managed for 3 years and 2 days. I moved there on my birthday 2018. Thing is, I had to be out by the 17th June. Just two days to pack an entire hotel up and transfer the piles of bedding, furniture, tableware and ornaments across the road. Danielle ‘my friend and housekeeper’ was a rock. It was blistering heat, but we did it.

I had a call from Mum on the 16th June, saying I had to get to Warwickshire. I had promised Dad I would hold him when he died. He went on the 20th June (Father’s Day) early hours of the morning. The garden came alive with nature and the sky shone amber amidst pale skies and descending white clouds. Two resident ducks on the pond and a glimpse of a fox in the copse. All so very much alive but as for Dad and his barrow, there would be no more. The clouds took him home. I recall driving down the motorway, with the dogs, knocking back black coffee whilst feeling totally stunned and shattered, hoping I could catch him in time. Job done. I drove back to Blackpool on the 22nd June 2021. Belleva opened during Augusts 2021 – after what I can only describe as 2.5 years of total chaos and unnecessary drama.

Unfortunately, I contracted Covid and could not attend the funeral. But I was there and in Blackpool with Dad, in spirit. So instead when I got on the mend, I bought some bedding plants for the tub I had inherited outside of Belleva. I watered the plants each morning religiously whilst the street was quiet. I hope they are just as beautiful this year, for everyone everywhere who has the privilege of soil.

That said, my neighbour Steve, kindly removed a plant for me, from the drainpipe at Belleva this week that had embedded itself in the gutter so deeply, he had to use brut force to get it out by the roots. Made me laugh. And Tracy another lovely friend and neighbour informing us, a woman over the street from her (a previous neighbour) had let seeds dropped by the seagulls, take over so much, she had lupins growing on her flat roof so high they obscured the front windows. When others raised the matter, the woman replied, ‘so fucking what.’ It did make us smile. It really does take all sorts to make a world. As long as we are kind, that’s all the matters.

Tiffany. X

by Tiffany Belle Harper