I haven’t been writing on my blog for a while. Although I often think of things to write about, I get distracted. I’ve been spending a lot of time at home, working, and enjoying my lovely garden, which feels magical with the addition of a fascinating gnome from across the pond. Spending time outdoors in my own private world is a healing gift, I always appreciate, alongside my pets and loved ones. Not to mention the wild birds that get fed most days.

It’s been many years since I have had my own little bit of land. But there was always Dad’s nature reserve. I do miss ‘that’ and him. During my time in Blackpool, being so close to the sea front has certainly replaced the need for a lawned area. Any connection with nature and fresh air is to be cherished. In particular, when we look at how some are living around the world, where basic essentials are unavailable. Freedom. Water. A safe space.

Commencing November 2022, I bravely endured an unequivocally traumatic experience in my work and personal life, where I was forced to leave my home and business. Despite the challenges, I managed to get back on track. It is clear that no woman should ever have to go through what I have, particularly in terms of losing her right to privacy at home and ensuring safety at work. A known individual decided to have a ‘pretend relationship’ with me, termed as ‘stalking,’ and went to extremes to intrude on every aspect of my life. This individual has used social media to leave a trail of my activities, unbeknown to his audience but overwhelmingly apparent to me and those who track him. I have faced these challenges with strength and resilience, and I am determined to overcome this experience.

What began as stalking and harassment in the workplace (over ten years ago) converted to actual acts of abuse and intimidation in my real world of 2022. From hacking smart devices and deactivating my main door access code in my little hotel. Plus, amidst many acts of intrusion, controlling my Alexa and making obvious reference to conversations with friends and family.

As a creative, I have since lost much inclination to participate with my online crafts or enjoy writing from my laptop. That said, I love design in my real world, and my hotel business is progressing, despite my booking facilities also being hacked on a regular basis. Taking into consideration the cost of this in terms of how it has affected the way I lead my life and with the actual loss of earnings exceeding 80k, the consequence remains priceless.

The appearance of dead seagulls and pigeons near the rear doors to my workplace and home, coinciding with instances where I mentioned these occurrences online. Which led me to understand that the situation goes beyond mere stalking. It has become clear that I may be in serious danger. The individual in question has targeted me in a cowardly and indirect manner, both online and offline, displaying no remorse. Such a problem can not be rectified, as any attention given to an abuser only serves to gratify them. The combination of lack of accountability, considerable disposable income, and excessive free time has significantly encroached upon my sense of security. Expected symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder include flashbacks, recurring memories, anxiety, and fear, as well as diminished self-esteem.

No person should be considered a target for terror due to how they choose their right to freedom. We live in dangerous times when we realise much of modern-day tools, potentially for our best selves, can equally be used as weapons against us. Where things like making a doctor’s appointment, speaking with family, doing a web search, handing business information and finances, become exploitative to the extent of fanaticism. And it’s those who come from a wholesome mindset who fall victim to such intrusion. It’s all too easy for a narcissist to plug into the emotions of others they are unable to embody themselves.

The right to our own detriment = choosing who we want to be a part of it. Any woman who lives or works alone should not be deemed available for abuse. We choose our tribes and any man who believes he has a non-permissive right to overstep her wishes, and boundary is a rapist and rape is not an ideology. This includes those who take money to carry out such cowardly acts of terror on the abusers behalf. To this day, I wonder how such a man would react if it were their loved ones being treated in the same way by the instruction of unstable, dark comedy and death threats.

It’s one thing what we choose to convey by means of social media or a public statement. Another is how we wish to live within our own communities and exclusive space.

Imagine if every human gave themselves the limitless right to gain non-permissive access to bedrooms, back yards, gardens, and work spaces. Plus, the facility to follow a person everywhere they went from one day to the next, despite knowing it was causing the victim extreme distress. It would go beyond any George Orwell assumption. Where social influence, financials, and a belief of being above the law become binding to the terrorist. I guess it’s illegal migration by means of technology and surveillance experts, together with acts of downright violation.

It would be pretty depressing to have to spend chunks of time trying to evaluate the mind of a psychopath. In any case, it just feeds the virus. At some point in our lives, we have to identify our own transparency. Otherwise, we could all become just as insane.

My heart goes out to any person who has experienced the incidents I have these last months. Plus, many years online, where it has affected my true ability to earn a living (though not to the extent of giving up, it’s just made it very tough.) Though fortunately such unprovoked hate crimes are exceptionally rare. Most people are too busy with their own pathways to want to destroy another in the modern-day world. And such an addict is unlikely to change, provided they have some kind of fake persona to hide behind. But the self-denial is always the trigger to gain pleasure in frightening another, to the point of their own obsession. Yet seldom will you see such a fascistic on an equal playing field. In favour of a raised stage, security and a keyboard to appear bold, regardless of unspoken habits and rancid intent. Laziness is an anchor for manipulation and acts of cruelty. The demons of society seemingly less likely suspects.

We are living in unprecedented times, where rapid change is taking place around the globe. Our old systems are falling apart for new beginnings of hope and optimism, where we are adjusting to innovative ways within the tapestry of life. There’s an exodus of migration, and this is irreversible, although I am sure better ways to maintain the influx of new beginnings will come to the table. Each living thing has a natural sense of survival. From ants to humans. And we have to ask ourselves what we would do in that same situation of walking without any assurance?

But firstly, we must protect our own communities from harm. In particular women and children. That said … the majority of these migrants travel in hope of a better world for theirs. It is unfortunate that with that comes (in limited cases) a future of crime and corruption within ethnic communities amidst their new environments. Integration has to be desired from ‘all-in-one’ communities. Otherwise, we have a ‘gang warfare’ situation. And no Mother wants to hear her son got shot or stabbed to death, whilst popping out for a loaf of bread. And that sort of thing is happening every day.

There are people who find success with a desire to want better things for others. Whilst there are those in a place of authority or status that want only recognition for their own merits, regardless of how they came to that rank. Without empathy or a sense of compassion, greed and ego will be the detriment of humanity. Such types must ask themselves how they will be remembered in the hall of history, for which sustains itself in a state of permanence on another dimension. We can not see it; we can feel it, and we ignite it. It’s called faith. And with that comes a sense of existence that can only be felt with acts of sincerity and goodwill.

That’s why those who are misplaced into roles of leadership or influence will never find a true sense of blissfulness, other than peaks and troughs bought about by their own adrenalin fixes. This goes right across the board to social media influencers, entertainers, politicians, and military leaders. To a certain degree, such types control our physical and mental health due to their inflated power. Where often fear and abuse are used to create a fix for the aggressor’s own lack of empathy or feeling.

Fortunately, the majority do have a sense of greater purpose. Nonetheless … it is worrying how much destruction just one person can cause given financial stability, a lot of spare time, and a lack of conscience. There are puppet masters who will poke at the vulnerable to drip feed off the victim’s reaction toward the directed abuse and harassment. Such malicious behaviour often falls under the radar during our earthly short journeys.

What happened in Israel at the hands of Hamas during October of 2023 was wrong. It was shocking to see civilians, to include women and children taken from a Peace Festival and their homes into Palestine, where still, we do not know the fate of many of those hostages? It is furthermore appalling that a mass execution of innocent Palestinians, reaching colossal figures, is still taking place. I never thought I would see the day where the current world witnessed such increasing terror, with children being dug out of rubble and newborn babies being slaughtered. Girls and women are being raped across the borders. We are observing dangerous shifts within a common day of ecosphere activity. A total disregard for others and life itself.

To be honest, I do not see an end to this problem. And I really feel such sadness for all the families affected by such acts of savage brutality in both regions of The Holy Land. It is frightening to think people are actually applauding any act of cruelty toward another, regardless of the fundamentals. Balance. I’m bringing it back to the centre. Working to achieve rational thoughts. It’s too easy to relish suffering and hardship. To adopt transparency with respect for ‘freedom of speech’ as opposed to using it as a weapon of destruction.

The internet does provide a portal of communication for those who participate to share their views and happenings in real time. We have the rapid expansion of various ‘Artificial Intelligence’ Platforms. It did for many of us, seem to come from nowhere. Most people do not have a solid background in technology where the pots are brewing for the next leap of high-tech development. We have no choice but to put our trust toward the higher good and a positive outcome. Though sadly, even behind such tools of better ease, there will be good and bad detriment and on varying degrees for misuse at the hands of psycho-pathologic traits. No Smart device is safe. Fortunately, not everybody wants to pay hackers. Though there are civilizations on the planet that live within their tribal communities who are unaware of the global crisis and evolving gadgets available, who in turn may be happier for their ignorance. It’s about stability. Too much of anything will eventually become exploited. And too little of our basic commodities, in turn … creates destitution.

I do not believe we as a ‘human race’ should be forced to unite and think as one. We can forget ‘world peace’ because it’s not possible on Earth. Simply since this would require each one of us to possess morals and values unilaterally, with a sense of sincerity. There are those who will tread on any person to achieve recognition and applause. Whilst others choose a compassionate approach to poise and accomplishments. We are all entitled to value … self-worth comes in many forms.

I am not what most people call a typical ‘socialist.’ I have created my own version of the term. I do not agree we should all be the same. That success and accomplishment is a taboo topic. There’s a lot of hypocrites out there who fly the flag for equality, yet they have a privileged lifestyle. No money concerns. Comfort. Whilst others dig for pennies who would love an opportunity to do better. My socialism = any person who wants to do well in life should have all the tools available to go forward.

Education generalises our intellect, and this is a draconian perception. Some of the most influential moguls on this planet have been diagnosed with autism or aspergers (for instance). There are many branches off the autistic spectrum, with many to be discovered. But our current system determines such strains that are not with the majority as a deficit order within the mental health gamut. If every child was to be tested for ADHD, autism, aspergers and dyslexia, then I don’t think we could ever put the handle back on ‘normal.’ Because there is no such thing. I would say ‘mundane’ is a better word. The majority who get sucked in would rather be controlled and influenced by fake news and dictatorship.

Human beings need more definition of their capabilities from a very young age, and this would require changing the entire educational process. That said, despite schooling, kids are sophisticated enough these days to know what they want and therefore teach themselves. This is why we have to ensure the internet is a safe place. Social media is a boiling pot of mass information. And there are facilities to streamline what we ‘do’ and ‘do not’ wish to see online. But that does not make any of us safe. It’s too easy to bypass such boundaries. This is where we must put technological energies in place for the future. We need to remind ourselves of this in terms of this new age of rearing children, who in many cases seldom get out the house to play in the great outdoors, in favour of sitting at their computers. There are kids from all over the world who enjoy gaming and making new friends, whilst on the battlefield in the real world, adult wars are taking place dividing the very same communities. It’s ridiculous.

I myself these last two years in particular realise I am very unlike every other person around me. And I am learning to accept that. To stand proud in my power, often becoming a target for the thick skin, since they see my warmth as a feebleness. But this does not make me any less of a person, quite the opposite. My character aligns perfectly with the work involved with hospitality. Though I am shrewd in business, I have never set out to be a huge success, as my dynamics tend to stop and what I know I can comfortably achieve and enjoy. And I am very much driven by love and a harmonious home life. I am blessed with some very wonderful people around me, although, like most people, I thrive within my private space. That’s why commencing November 2022, my entire routine fell apart, realising that the very things I exist for had been taken from me. A private home, time to contemplate. To go online and design, write. Such simple pastimes were now being violated by a deplorable man who had gone beyond childish attempts to harass and belittle me online. It must be awful to live with that kind of desire when there’s so much good to be done in the world.

Money and fame do not afford common sense. A sense of being street wise is a route you learn only by walking your own steps. Living out lies on the internet and by means of entertainment does not make a person any happier than a man begging for pennies on the street. We all have inner misery and personal needs that only we ourselves can fulfil. We are born alone, and we die alone, and no person can buy time.

A few months into being targeted and after realising my hotel had been sabotaged by unwanted spyware and my data had been hacked, I became so fearful for my life, I almost thought about contacting the stalker directly to ask how much time I had left before he arranged to have me harmed, so I could make arrangements to get my pets re-homed and say goodbye to my sons. You never get over a feeling like that. Particularly when I myself do not set out to hurt anybody. It was a heavy and very sad feeling. I spoke with my late father a lot. A pie in the sky. I do miss him, and I had made it no secret by means of my blog how tough the journey was to get my hotel open, directly after his death.

You can not analyse any form of hatred. Pure evil is a cowardly embodiment that wants people to stand still. It craves mindful reactions and ways to knock us off our chosen paths. This is because the oppressor craves what we have and resents his own real predicament. In turn, being the victim of terrorism has a knock-on effect. Where, by showing our feelings to others, we become a portal to take advantage of our honesty when explaining how being bullied makes us feel. That’s why seeking help is imperative. To tell friends what is happening, keep a journal, and get some counselling. Surprisingly, when I sought support, I made new friends.

I was told, “you are not here because you think you are not safe.”

“You are here because we want to help you get through it.”

And there will always be a log of who the man is, what has happened, and how it has affected those around me, including former staff members, close friends and my pets.

Psychological abuse is a huge factor of receipt for those who are subject to it, and there’s highly trained professionals who understand how narcissism can affect empathetic people. The only difference is that in my case, most women are ‘in’ or ‘have had’ a relationship with the abuser.

People I have spoken with have been impressed with how I have made a sensory garden to enjoy peace and being outdoors, regardless of the fact I was being pursued. Also, I was advised to join Twitter, which is now called ‘X’. In order to feel inclusive within the very platform the problems derived from, (back in 2010.) This was during a time of ill health, following a serious assault toward me in my own home, just before Christmas of 2009, where I lost my business within the fashion sector, designing and selling mannequins, plus retail fashion display. Subsequently, the internet became a lifeline, where I chose to become a volunteer within the animal rescue sector. Then, from there, I built my own directories using Joomla software to promote pet businesses. It all grew very quickly. But sadly, this is also how all the problems are derived in terms of the ongoing stalker/terrorist.

Amidst all this … I managed to get my son through university and buy a small house in Leeds. I then moved to Blackpool with a friend to lease a bed and breakfast. I was thrown in at the deep end and, before long, was cooking breakfasts for as many as twenty-five people within an hour’s slot. Running a bar with food snacks and dealing with housekeeping. It was backbreaking work 24/7, but I would not change a thing. The majority of the Blackpool community has huge respect for the work of hosts, as the town relies on our revenue. And there’s much to be done in Blackpool.

I have become an integral part of the community, feeling passionately about the territory. I am a strong and often ruthless woman when it comes to fighting for justice and making decisions. My life has never made me afraid to walk the streets with the rest of them. I love the diversity of real-life scenarios. People watching. Speaking with strangers. Every person has a story and that’s how we learn our best and it is frustrating that those who do nothing for others in a true sense, rely on messengers (such as myself) to establish their material gain. But to me, the richest people I know are those with life experience. And to be a person who sincerely embodies both is a pure gift.

I never set out with the intention to have a house full of animals, but I love to have uncomplicated company and pets do fill that gap in many respects. I do not understand any person who does not want pets around them? I guess being a mum can also make you that way, as when we bring children into the world, our entire life perspective quite literally changes within a flash. The complete process of pregnancy to birth and the selfless giving. They flee the nest, and you never quite know what will become of your off-springs. But you love them unconditionally. Being responsible for others makes us value our own self-worth, as we have a sense of obligation that helps us through our own difficulties. Care and compassion define us as individuals, and this is where the right people come together. It’s an organic process that finds its way.

I am exceptionally proud of my courage and strength, where I have gone on to buy and manage my own small hotel. And I am ever hopeful to continue my journey with those I choose to join me (and they know who they are). It is my basic human right. Each of us is sacred, and no man has the higher permission to violate women, directly, indirectly, or with the help of others.

I wish to tribute this blog to Elon Musk. I believe he is an intensely intelligent Survivor. A man who comes from his truth and ‘in the moment’ logic, who tries his best to pursue a path of futuristic benefit.

tiffany harper

I would highly recommend any person who is dubious or critical of Elon Musk to read his biography by Isaac Newton. Where … to name but a few adventures, during Elon’s childhood, whist most kids read comics and played PC games for fun. Elon, despite experiencing a great deal of violence and emotional turmoil, enjoyed reading encyclopaedias, making explosives, coding and programming his own computer games. Always with the support of his mum (Maye) and siblings.

The Musk family came from poverty, and all that they are, they achieved for themselves. It’s quite a moving story. And hugely inspiring for any person with tough challenges ahead. It’s important to be altruistic, show transparency, and be remembered with the truth of our real agenda.

Getting back to Dad, he invented electromagnetic equipment to mainly help recycling in third world countries. One of my biggest regrets was not learning enough about the mechanics of his work, but then I had my first child at the age of twenty, so being a mum took precedence. That and having three jobs most of the time. Dad’s company was called ‘Master Magnets’ and it was sold to an American firm named ‘Buntings’. Though head office is still the factory my dad founded in The West Midlands, UK. My dad left a legacy that has expanded toward doing great things. Dad was a gentleman, fair in business, and respected by others. But always, providing for his loved ones came first. I do miss him.

So, when I re-joined Twitter (now X) last February, with huge trepidation, it was not my intention to gain likes and follows (fortunately) but more so, to spend time healing. I had no idea ‘Elon Musk’ had bought it, and not a day has gone by when he has not made me laugh out loud. We are all entitled to our opinions, and it’s not about always agreeing; it’s more to do with delegation and acceptance. Finding a balance.

In turn, my original ‘awful’ memories going back all those years when I was previously trying to work and promote volunteer groups on the ‘Twitter’ platform gradually subsided. In particular, I became inspired by Maye Musk (Elon’s Mum) who like me, brought her children up as a single parent. I went on to read her book too, namely ‘A Woman Makes a Plan,’ which is so very sweet, yet shows such determination and grace toward life, motherhood and the fashion industry.

Working in hospitality and especially living on-site, we can go without months of real sleep during high seasons. Guests are coming in all through the night. Doing a late bar, getting up at 7 am to prepare for breakfast, before cleaning rooms. I lived that way for a few years, and my diet consisted of leftover breakfasts. It was slave slog. So … going online with a beer for an hour or so is the best way to switch off. Most of us who work with the public all day/night do it that way. Listen to music, catch up on news, and keep up with a few mates. Never take it for granted, folks, because one day, that could all be taken away from you. Your basic human rights are paid out by a person with not much of a life at all. And suddenly, you are in the abyss. Though do not retreat away from your wind-down time, it is so important to feel inclusive in the bigger world. When you work long hours, the internet becomes a lifeline between gruelling shifts.

I am ever inspired and very grateful to be alive. It’s been a very tough time, but I have also become an even stronger and more determined woman. Where there has been intrusion, I have cleansed with creative ambition. I refuse to fear running my business or going to bed at night, taking the dogs for a walk or putting the keys in my doors. The normal things in our lives that we take for granted. And I will always have a conscience. I would advise any person who wishes to harm another, to mind their own business, make the ‘real life’ they crave, and leave others to do the same.

My working life is exclusively for ‘paying’ guests. My private life is by invitation, and for any person who is unable to grasp such a basic principle, they need help and fast. I have my put my heart and soul into Tiffy’s Place on St Chad’s Road. Blood, sweat, and tears. A labour of love in the real world. Family. Friends. Community. No man will tear such achievement down, to include those on the stalker’s payroll. What sort of men take money to terrorise a woman in her home and business!?

In 2023, I made remarkable strides in unleashing my creativity and fearlessness whilst working with two exquisite properties. As for 2024, it will be dedicated to nurturing my heart and experiencing profound healing. I aim to fervently pursue my aspirations and extend well wishes to the world, alongside those I hold dear with similar values, no matter where our paths may lead together or apart. I am grateful for the support I have received during such unnecessarily difficult times, at the hands of a despicable character. But there’s more good in this world than bad. Life is sweet. We just all have to try our best within our own capacities and enjoy the positive aspects of our own attributes, in order to make this world a better place.

Namaste,

Tiffany Belle Harper.