self nurturing

I haven’t been blogging as much as I should, and it’s important for all of us to resist becoming complacent with our own voice — especially in a world so often arranged by a pecking order. The quiet ones are frequently the folk with the most worthy stuff to say. But we all have our own ways of measuring self‑worth, and today, for once, I had a little time away from humping boxes around, entertaining guests, and meeting the usual obligations of day‑to‑day life.

Jazz as the Gold Dust of Life

After a couple of glasses of decent prosecco, I somehow nodded off for a long, unexpected snooze. I woke to the radio — Jazz FM, naturally — just as a repeat of April’s Jazz Awards 2025 kicked off on their station. Some of the winners were unfamiliar by name, but the moment the tracks played, they unlocked memories of summer: pottering in the yard, preparing guest rooms, bantering with the pets. Jazz has always been a unifying love‑source for me. It lifts, it steadies, it threads light through every scenario. Jazz is the gold dust of life.

When Online Shadows Spill Into Real Life

Life dishes out its blows, and in the context of the world’s problems, I feel grateful. But in my own world — as I’ve mentioned before — things took a sharp turn in November 2022. What had been a nagging, difficult situation across my online spaces escalated into something horrific in my real life. And with stalking, baiting and harrasment, it is often easier for those affected — I prefer the term survivors — to unfortunately say nothing. What can’t be seen is easily dismissed as hearsay, even when it corrodes your mental and physical wellbeing. Your entire outlook, your routine, your sense of safety and ability to earn a living can become a kind of living hell.

The Silent Weight of Stalking

Jazz has been my anchor through it. Sharing music feels like passing on a little optimism, a reminder to focus on the good that still surrounds us. And when you finally begin to emerge from the worst — which I hope I am — you look back and realise just how extreme those events truly were. With stalking, so much of the suffering happens in silence. Psychological harm is the hardest to articulate. Even worse when it gets into your actual personal space.

The Digital Cowards of Our Era

Stalking doesn’t even begin to define the extent of this problem or the way lives are being quietly ruined by cowards in their digital playgrounds. With a handful of apps and — worse still — too much spare time and financial privilege, an unstable individual can strip another person of their privacy and walk away untouched. These people often slip under the radar with charming online personas or hardcore internet fandoms they use as shields, disguising what they’re really doing behind the scenes of all that fake bravado. And that worries me.

I use women at work or women living alone as my example because that’s the category I fall into, but I know full well that kids and men also suffer at the hands of stalkers. I’m relieved to see that the government is beginning to take this more seriously. I hope — for the sake of those who will unfortunately become the next targets — that anyone who finds themselves latched onto by a stranger through any channel will receive full, meaningful support from the law. Words alone won’t fix this. We need tech experts and psychological experts who can recognise the traits early and investigate the bubbling pots before they boil over.

No woman should have to explain what has happened to her in a way that invites ridicule. And it’s essential that there are safe, accessible portals where people can speak out about their predators without feeling small, ashamed, or disbelieved. And let’s be honest: those who become obsessed with the activity of one other person need to seek professional help and recognise that what they’re experiencing is an addiction, not affection.

Reclaiming Comfort, Community & Rhythm

But I don’t want my final blog of 2025 to be defined by the negativity that has haunted my privacy and mindset since things took a turn for the worst in 2022. I want to talk about the antidotes — the things that keep us going. Keeping busy. Finding ways to engage with a community, online or offline. Creating comfort in our homes. Building little sanctuaries of our own making.

And then there’s jazz. Well — jazz for me. We all have our genres that catch us when we fall. Jazz FM has lifted some of my scariest moments into something softer, something with value and appreciation, something that reminds me that even in the darkest stretches, there is still rhythm, still warmth, still a pulse of comfort in my world.

Rising Above Spite

We should never cave in to the malice that grows out of other people’s dissatisfaction or the lack of depth they carry in their own inner turmoil. Life is precious, and it takes real strength to rise above the pressure of egotistical spitefulness. But if this kind of nonsense ever comes your way, take it as a strange sort of compliment. Yes, it can have extreme and negative implications on your life, but it also means you’re doing something right. Jealousy is, unfortunately, part of the landscape for decent people.

Small tweaks can transform the way we live. Keeping the house tidy in manageable doses. Getting out into the community or hobbying online. Baking yourself a proper meal. Learning a new skill — like me making my own body lotion, experimenting with new recipes, collecting vintage treasures, writing poetry and ideas by hand. And jazz. Always jazz. Jazz all the way. Anything that keeps us from becoming stagnant and reminds us that the cowards’ playground is nothing more than a stage for fools.

Acceptance, Freedom & Treating Others Well

Finally, it all comes down to acceptance. We see protests, violence, and bias everywhere, but for any activist who wants their voice and their freedom, there has to be an understanding that everyone else is entitled to the same. I advocate freedom of speech, but freedom of the keyboard can become a cowardly and sinister mask to hide behind. May we learn to treat others as we ourselves wish to be treated. Nobody should be excluded from music, culture, or trend because of their political leanings. We are, in the end, everything together. We’re allowed our opinions, our tastes, our chosen news sources and tribes without having to justify them to anyone.

A Note From The Fylde

The Fylde is a happy place. All are welcome here, so long as they arrive with goodness in their hearts and a willingness to contribute to our shared public spaces. And to those who support our hospitality — thank you for booking in advance. It makes all the difference. May the coming year bring fabulous travel, hope, and goodwill to everyone who passes through.

Hopes for 2026

I hope 2026 brings faith and hope to all. I hope the monsters of society are finally made to consider the lives they damage with such ease. And I want to wish everybody a very gorgeous New Year — to include our beloved friends across the pond, who continue to lead by example.

Tiffy Belle🐇

December 30, 2025January 4, 2026 by Tiffany Belle Harper

Sometimes we do need to switch off and find our root source. That can be a beach or a park, a balcony with terrace pots, a river, stream, a puddle of ‘sea water’ or just a pile of soil. Yes, sometimes – we do just need peace to connect with Gaia. Not so often we take our universe for granted, but enough to appreciate space and tranquillity in incredibly healthy doses.

Less is More … but I do also believe, hard work is good for the soul. That combined with a small tribe who love us unconditionally. The rest is crap – keep it simple. Stay focused on your own business and look after those who are in your heart because really, as you grow older you do realise that love is all we need. Love is Everything and when we magnify that message it comes back to us. Get rid of the rubbish and find new purpose to serve your journey best.

The last two years I have under gone every experience. Many of us can also say that. Be glad as life is about lessons, so … learn it well. I am glad I have gone through this huge transition. It has released a lot of anguish and I realise the biggest problem around me will probably always be jealousy. I do not have huge amounts of cash stashed in bank accounts. I am what I earn. And if ever I get rewarded for my hard work, I re-invest in the community ‘over and over’ again. Despite being shit on, despite being robbed, blackmailed and often made to feel terrified to be alone, even ‘at times’ going for a walk, I am blessed because there is a silver lining to every bad situation. We just have to face our fears and never quit.

I owe most of my life to my kids. I love my boys. They have never had it easy. But I do want them to always know that each step I take I do it for their future and hope life is kinder in many more ways. When I love, I do so unconditionally and when I am hurt I never forget. I stay remembering because I don’t want anyone to feel the wrath inflicted upon me. We should always stand up to nastiness and the best way to do that is to be your very best self. A smile can anger more than a punch.

We also need to know that being stalked or harassed is not a right we ever have to accept. If you don’t want someone in your life and they continue to enforce that power, then they are breaking the code of harmony. Send them karma. Karma is instant.

And no matter how strange your ‘one true love’ may seem to others, tell yourself, those who glare should take off their shades and face the ground with their own sense of self worth. Your business is your own – so tell them … “don’t mock others – go get your life together instead of staring at your phones all day. It ain’t happening here”.

Play music – set yourself free – let go of time – dance in the kitchen and sing in the rain – it’s quality not quantity. Don’t be greedy. Put your wealth on the table for those who gave you their aspirations so freely. Stand up to liars and thieves. What you earn is not their right. Let them dig for their own pennies. We all need to use a shovel.

Take time to support animal welfare. You don’t have to be famous or significant in terms of anything other a sense of wanting to share your home or land with the helpless. Actions speak louder than words.

Ask good neighbours how they are doing – keep doors locked to the bad. Watch out for quiet friends and don’t assume the loudest ones are not depressed either. Humans are complexed beings. Take care of those who take care of you both mentally and demonstratively. And remember, it is not your birth right to spend your free time trying to adjust to people who bore the hell out you. I avoid such situations.

Have at least one day a week where you don’t check your emails and turn off your phone. Life will manage without you in short measures. Stress and anxiety are no good for your balance – slow down when it gets too much.

You don’t need to meditate. Gardening, walking and crafting work just as well – if not better. You don’t need to look great in gym wear or hang out with dolly birds – you can be just as happy in your pyjamas in the back yard, if you can hear the birds and smell the clean air – you can feel so free.

Look behind the pictures of your greatest ‘current day’ icons. We are much the same behind the curtains. Don’t buy the hype. Empty vessels make most noise. Tell people you love them. Love is not a dirty word and love is not a weakness. Love is all we have. Be thankful for it because one day it could be gone.

Appreciate those that make sacrifices for you to thrive and cherish – those whom you trust. As trust is the hardest thing of all. If you can count the people you ‘trust’ on one hand you are rich. In terms of that, I have wealth. I have some gorgeous people around me. But it’s taken a lot of lessons to find this. I want to maintain the balance. I really do … and I want those who know how much I love them to understand how grateful I am.

Tiff. X