Well apart from falling in and out of my other work, trying to run a bed and breakfast (with not much experience.) Nursing a bug (I caught from my son when he visited last month), not helped by my exposure to authentic Victorian dust at The Nester.) Together with watching old movies on you tube, we’ve been trying to focus on the new hotel. Well, it’s not a hotel, I don’t know what to call it. I worry a lot about it all.

We can’t make things go any faster when it is all about retaining the reason of budget, safety and getting it right. The hospitality industry is not about the individual/s behind it, so much as the end product. I have so many aspirations but it is going to take time. I just won’t rush it. If I do this, I will regret my decisions.

We have had problems with a tradesman who promised the world with a fabulous brand new heating supply, then buggered off with his personal problems. It hit us hard. But this will always happen in a world that is far from predictable. It is now about moving forward and fortunately we have found a great team to take that place. With relief, we’ve detected a few leaks and bad pipework, before the flooring goes down. It could have been devastating. But we can’t harbour on the past, these things do happen.

Taking this to one side. I have been working on another project that is about using stuff from the community and up-cycling. It is not funded. I have done it myself with Danielle’s help. We’ve been painting things up. It’s my favourite thing. So I will call it The Nesting Space. Just got the domain. I am going to make a little pop up shop in the hotel. There’s a few more surprises too, but I don’t want to put anything out there until I have some images to go with it. The part that excites me most. 

I was going to assign a different host to collaborate with us on each room – but again, that’s gone out of the window because we’ve all had loads of input together as a team. And I have taken some of it on-board. You sort of morph the blank canvas into the shapes. To rely on dimensional input. Art is always unknown until you pick up the paint. Or in the case of the interior colour. The swatch. I just knew it had to be this specific colour of coral. It caused a bit of a stir. It’s a flat colour but bright. But I just love it. The particular shade changes colour according to natural light too. In sunlight it is pink, autumn, more of an orange and so on… To put a deep powder pink and baby blue with it was a risk, but I saw them as a family. I then had some Victorian beading made to enhance the Villa prettiness of the building, with a backdrop of white, which will carry through into the hallway.

I like brightness in corridors. It lifts depressive mindsets and invigorates change and growth. White is a beautiful colour. TBH

The door. Well I just saw it and fell in love. It has no rhyme or reason. It’s just there. The glass to some of the windows I designed too, to bring in the sunbeams. I did want some colour there but will use decals at a later stage.

The hallways ‘though’ will be minimal. White with ivory paintwork and pastel doors. Mood music up the stairwell. Artwork by independent artists together with some cheapy prints, I just liked – I am not at all driven by a masterpiece or cash, so much as how a print or original makes me feel. A mismatch of visual, street and contemporary artwork is just too dirty for words. I like it dirty. I like my style.

Then… each room will have its own theme. Nothing extravagant. Just original and comfortable. The colours of the rooms are not at all consistent. Each room tells its own story and I hope I am able to entwine opportunities to incorporate the planet’s natural habitats. Or at least encourage people to value earth more. Not in a preachy way, as guests are on their breaks away from regime and anger. But to tease with nature in a respectful non-opinionated fashion. It’s like when I talk to the cats who walk at their own pace, if I shout at them to hurry up, they turn away but if I speak in a soft and kind fashion they brush past my shins. They are fully aware of their own feelings and boundaries.

What there will not be at The Nester:

A bar but guests may bring their own drink.

One time use plastics.

Fur of feathers from animals killed for their coats.

Although I do have some interesting faux skulls. Remember this, when an animal dies naturally, its entire being becomes a by-product. And nothing has to go to waste. The animal should be adorned for their life that was before their deterioration. I believe the skull of an animal is very beautiful. Ever-lasting. An art piece. But then, we are all free to interpret art as we wish in the boundaries of humane living. The world would be scary any other way.

To be told there is no art by those who cannot feel art. TBH

I have friends who make shamanic instruments and often use cow hide. But the cow died naturally, or perhaps euthanized due to pain or disease (a privilege sought by humans, although, we would imagine ‘hard core city vegans’ may contest and the irony.) The shamanic friends are vegans to the degree of growing all their own produce and using solar energy – to not kill an animal for food. They live high up in the hills of North Yorkshire in a static home that is Eco run. I do envy their beautiful lifestyle. They are just so committed to nature. So content.

So… I acquired two big skulls last year, that are ceramic but they look real. I saw them, fell in love, bought them home. One is a wilder-beast. (I have called him ‘Mr Happy Face the 1st.) The other is a buffalo. Currently nameless. I want to challenge peoples concept of them, as mainstream often misinforms about the natural life chain, in order to make us fearful or ashamed – worst still, controlled. Yet, the native Indians and shamanistic worship and celebrate life in a different way to the mainstream folk. I am much inspired – I bow to these lesson teachers of our habitual and natural life-force. Who take nothing and waste little. Preach nothing. Living only by means and necessity. Perfection to me. And I will be brutally honest. I feed road kill to my seagulls, they love the guts and gore. Messy little babies. My beautiful friends of the sky. 

At Golden Sands, I have faux antlers. But anyway, real ones can be collected when they are felled naturally and used as dog treats, where no animal has been taken for the benefit of the chew. I used to promote a similar company, I suppose you can google it. Interesting stuff. A great blog idea too. Natural antlers!

To be original does not simulate – it is just ‘original’. We can all be ‘original’ we just have to listen to our own truth and face our fears. TBH.

But remember, this is a hotel and I need to conform to legalities. It’s not a hippy commune. (Well, not yet…)  My personal home would be a different matter, though obviously. I could really live in a shed and be happy. In-fact, I have! I have indeed lived in most things, to include a beautiful static home, for which I do miss. I have friends with very big houses and I never feel at one there, as I don’t see the point of too much space, it just creates dust. I’ve never wanted all of that stuff. I’ve never been greedy. I just know what I like… and it does take time. My little house in Leeds took me four years to fill with silly things but I went there from homelessness – so I guess I did nest for longer than I needed, due to just being relieved to have a place I could call my own. We learn. However, The Nester is just the right size. If I ever get there! Not sure if I will reside there permanently though. But we will have a studio and bedroom for when we do dig down. However, the building is never empty we have a friend taking care of the place for us. Very grateful.

The Nester will be for adults only. Why? I believe couples in particular need to find a sparkle. That a woman is a Goddess and her counterpart is willing to please in order to feel cherished with the feminine. That same sex couples are also inclusive of all that involves chemistry. A healthy relationships = lasting peace and the trading of boundless love and spiritual growth. A relationship is constantly adjusting to the needs of that other person. It has little to do with sex and certainly not rivalry. In-fact, the basic act of sex can create the fear of instability and lust that often destroys a healthy relationship. It is about balance and harmonious unity of emotional intelligence – to keep flirting with one another. I could just write on and on about this subject. A true relationship is private and sacred.  Not to be flaunted to the jealous and often envious lives of others, who may lack the depth of true compassion. And in our lives it is known that we often collide with other partners before we find our true flame. We could never appreciate our gift by conquest of facing our fears, otherwise. But then sometimes we may meet our soul mate and know and expand very quickly. I am lucky. We both are.

There will also be arty twists. Food – Fun – Sleep, to feel cosy and nurtured in a non-intrusive space. But most of all to just relax and have adventures in the quirky town of Blackpool, together with its magnificent sunsets. Eclectic coastal front, spiced up with deco style metals and historical artefact. Return to The Nester, kick of your shoes and just float away in one of our little nests. 

I suppose for now… this is the best way to describe the mood-boarding. I am now going to be very lazy and do an online shop as I am out cat litter and I could kill for a fish pie with hot steamed vegetables that I intend to make tomorrow. I seem to get a bigger appetite during the winter. These bloody dark days. Come on Spring!

I pray things will be okay, if not I will keep trying. It’s about the journey, not the destination. The universe will give me only what I can cope with. I do also now have a book but it’s not going to go anywhere for a while as I am still on the journey, but it’s in safe hands. I am no author, I can’t write fiction. What I am is a free spirit and the book is about my journey. It’s hard for me to remember a lot of it. I was in a dark place due to such incidents. But it’s true. When we fall down, we can become trampled upon. But I got back up. I still fall but I have people to catch me now. I am no longer afraid.

Amen. So protect me God. Let hate not divide us. We are all one.

Tiff. X

PS re pic above:- the outside is not finished. The gap in the paintwork is where a handful of neighbours grouped up to the council to make me take down an ornate picket style fence with bauble detail, to the side that did not divide and was see-through. They also wanted my main picket style fence down too, but the council said ‘no.’ I believe the council to be fair, given the commotion the odd few caused. Half the street came out when it was put up. I have never felt so embarrassed over a bit of UPVC. Fuck them. And fuck anyone else who is over come with jealousy towards change and originality. Be your own uniqueness. Be your own change. Be different. Be your own business. Be inspired – be great. Be free. Oh fuck … I have just melted my best anorak in the tumble dryer!