It’s drizzly outside. Sunday morning. I have both guest rooms occupied, until they are ready to flee the nest. I hope they’ve enjoyed the town and my rooms? The dogs are snuggled up. Guinea pigs enjoying late night ‘veg’ reductions from Sainsbury’s. I get huge bags of cabbage and often a lettuce at rock bottom prices, if I go in late enough. The staff know it’s for my little fluffies. They live well. My beloved Spike and Toby, tiny squeakers!! Then there’s Billy Pumpkin my ‘once’ abandoned ‘street cat’ who is now some kind of Godhead in my apartment. Well … if you can call it that. I live in the dining room. Cosy.

Billy just seems to know when I’m under the weather or in need of some fuss. He will just plonk his ‘now’ huge ginger cat body on me, my laptop, or if I am sleeping, my head. I have many adventurous stories regarding my cat. Quite unbelievable. In-fact, all my pets have their tales to tell, through the words of me ‘of course’. I hope one day I can reawaken my writing, without the apprehension of first being hacked, before I click ‘publish.’ I must rise above it. Though losing the draft of a book from years back was not a great experience. Despite being badly written, it was mine. The list is endless. And still there are problems.

For now the birds are back for a couple of seasons. I do stop feeding the pigeons throughout the colder months, as otherwise they occupy my small garden in such large numbers, there’s an excessive amount of muck to clean up. The magpies and crows seem to know when it’s time to go. But never the pigeons. My house exterior often covered with them. I have my regulars. And they have babies. You get to know, cos often they visit with a smaller replicate in tow. Very sweet. Family is all around us. Feathers. Waves. Petals.

Though sadly I lost my doggy, ‘Angel’ last year. She was 18, well almost, (her birthday would have been Christmas day.) We rescued many beings together, me and Angel. It’s a long time to have a best friend. I still feel her about. Love never dies. And I often wonder whether our dearest do not have a species. That albeit a bird, dog or human. The reinvention of that love becomes something completely new in our higher universe. Where Angels are our wings. I do have a recent theory, incorporating Christianity and faith, which aligns with today’s world … and I promise I will write about it. (And I do need to share more.) My head never stops nattering and all of it resonates. I do ‘enjoy’ my company. (Perhaps, conceited for this … but so what.) And by the way, sorry about my grammar, I am ‘self educated’ and try to avoid AI for correction.

Let’s face it, we are all only here for a snap of time. So to me, it’s better to be thankful toward Earth, than to want to rip it apart. Pretty ridiculous really. Oh well … I sigh. The answers come soon enough. Each of us go home in the end. And we only take the truth. No social followings, bank balances or ruthless accomplishments. We are accountable for the goodness of our sacrifices. Where acts of malice (for example) as a result of malevolence or greed, do not count in the larger framework. Hostility being a weak word, such like jealousy and to will mental or physical hardship to innocent sentient beings. Though all of which can be amended when we turn to our faults and we learn by our findings. Where the negative infrastructure of what we do, probably goes into a void hole somewhere, along with the spirit of those who conduct the flames. Meanwhile, the vulnerable here, suffer for it most. And that includes our most treasured friends of all, nature and all her animals. Everything that’s meant to grow organically.

Each of us are born unique. We have our own credibility. As we develop into the world, before we know it. we reach an age where we start to grow out of it. And it’s during the stages of life’s tapestry, we can either use our lessons and experience to teach and to flourish. Or, become stagnant and bitter, in belief our shortfalls are for others to fix, as opposed to realising any need for self improvement and personal growth.

Through our experiences we can help others going through similar, to find the compassion to work with empathy. Or we can punish society for how our circumstances have made us feel. How we manifest our feelings shows our integrity or weakness. How we can admit to our mistakes and speak openly about our insecurities in likeminded circles.

Nothing can change the past. What we were is who we are today. Financial burdens, incarceration, despair. Loss. A range of unfortunate conditions. Though we are all magnificent in one way or another. And it’s not about waiting for validation from others, who in many cases are not even worthy of giving it. It is about self love and the ability to realise how far we have come on our journey. To reflect with our own affirmations. A brave thing to do, because ego hates positive people who do not rely ‘solely’ on the limelight. A shallow soul does not work with experience and change. But rather the source of others. The parasites of society. Often with little self worth. To the contrary of how they appear. For now, anyway.

There are those who dwell too deeply within the lives of others, reluctant to explore the many hurdles life can reveal during steps into the unknown. Often we are forced by circumstances beyond our control. Where power becomes the ability to file a lawsuit as a means to crush a helpless victim. The wealth to destroy entire communities. To play ‘God’ in battles where there is no winner. This is not leadership, this is satanic work, with only one common goal. MORE POWER!

Hidden hand signaling to control us by means of cults. But let us remind those hard at work to cage our freedom. You are NOT higher than God. For the universe is our greatest organic spyware. The Akashic, so to speak. But really … there’s no word to improvise such activity, as we are not meant to know until our dimension is ready to show us. We vibrate with a much higher frequency, where those who are awake will translate this how they wish. There is good or bad in every religion and establishment.

War is a distraction. It is a display of activity, where the people who are vulnerable, want to feel safe. Protected. And war can be manufactured to control our opinion with wrath, hatred and fear. War is an addiction. War is hate. This is WRONG!! Do we create hostility in an attempt to control the public?

My worry is that, in today’s society, no child, no teenager, no young person should be consumed with anxiety, fear and depression as a result of attunement to:

1. The world is going to end because we put the heating on and use transportation.

2. There is going to be a global war, so don’t bother with education, just worry instead.

3. You cannot express your fashion sense.

4. You cannot have open discussions in public or on the internet.

We as adults are not doing enough to make life an enjoyable experience for generations to come. No wonder it’s such a mess. Mental health is not a whim. Psychosis and Schizophrenia are very real. Autism, Asperger’s, ADHD, are very factual. We should not dismiss further research and the correct care, based on the scroungers of society using these conditions (that are hard to detect, particularly in introverts) to claim time and benefits. Slipping into the loophole to get free stuff. There are genuine cases out there that are not getting any help at all, because they suffer in silence.

We have no idea how many individuals are in their rooms right now, confused with too much information. A sense of loneliness. No role model in the real world. They turn to online streams that corrupt their mind.

We as a nation need to be aware of the danger signs. To help those who have lost their way get the correct help, within the (somewhat outdated) medical system. With counselling. Home visits. But in a compassionate structured way. Group meetings. To talk in a controlled, friendly environment with others suffering the same. That no person feels alone. Because, one day it could be too late. We lose a precious family member or loved one. We are unable to reach them and bring their mindset home to a safe space.

Until such thing affects us personally, it is very hard to make judgement. And I speak with experience as my heart has broken many times with a situation very close to me. With so much choice in the world, children may feel deluded, misguided, afraid. The educational system is so rigid. We as humans consist of many different attributes. It is important to teach of nature, charity, community. To determine our characters and how well we can integrate with our own tribe of like-minded in the real world. It is too late for many, but there’s time to help the rest. Our new arrivals to the planet. To not dismiss personality types in favour of trying to uniform the many different minds within our masculine and feminine.

I do not believe in removing sexual organs or hormones from human beings. It is barbaric. But I do support the ability for a male to be more feminine, or a female to be more masculine. It is our own choice. To accept our characters as we are made. To completely remove sexual transformations by means of invasive surgery to minors. Exterior vanity is very different to our reproductive organs. We should never mock a person for their social way of fashioning themselves. How many men wear make-up discretely, yet sneer at other men who wear make-up more dramatically? Is that not hypocritical? And right through the ages, battle attire has been a high fashion and theatrical statement. The articulate attention to detail of fine glove and shoe making. The helmets and intricate tunic detail.

The Romans wore gallant hand woven tabards, robes and tunics with immaculate sandals – attention to straps and design. Garlands of gold in their hair? In many countries around the world, men wear robes in favour of trousers. That said, there’s nothing sexier than a guy in a good suit within a Western state of powerful environments. Fashion is fashion. Fashion should never be prejudice. Many of us have already lost our right to free speech. Please. Don’t stop fashion too!! There is female and there is male. When we try to control our appearance we create a surge of diversity and in worst case, anarchy. Youth should be fun and on-trend. Where has our music and fashion gone to?

Moving on, we should try to be much more aware of ‘street drugs’. Where are they coming from and what are people smoking? How do these drugs affect decision making. It’s not like a group of friends going to a rave or a house party and having a social smoke. It is about people who are isolated in a room watching a screen. A dangerous cocktail of misinformation and mind altering chaos combined. Law Enforcement is not always the answer, as much as determining the source and protecting potential outcomes. Perhaps even consider plain clothes specialists within such areas to establish the truth?

I need to do more research. But there’s some kind of drug you can buy online that can make you regress back in your life. I would not imagine this is good for a person who is suffering with any mental health issue. That said, intriguing by the sound of it? I have a very good mind and legal experiments are fine to an extent. But the best drug of all has to be variety and hobbies. To explore the real world. Addiction is never the answer. Not for the addict and not for the victims.

We should also take into consideration the amount of children who are in Foster Care and Children’s Homes, or who live in a traumatic environment. Habitats where nobody ‘really’ loves them. Thus assuming it’s the parents job to ensure their children are not out on the streets, getting up to no good, or taking a regular shower. Preparing a meal or giving them enough money to buy a sandwich. There’s children who have nothing other than their laptops and phones. Together with any stuff in the real world that can give them a thrill. I realised too late how growing up in a broken home affects the children. We can be so caught up with work and our own problems, we may over-look the impact this all has on the kids.

As we grow through life, we change our opinions. This is good, because otherwise we become stuck in our ways, we struggle to break cycles and habits of no worth going forward. We grow through our environments and consideration. I myself have shifted massively with my assumptions, particularly these last couple of years. It is all about where we feel at home, where we fit in to a group or spectrum. It’s wrong to hold people to the past that simply wish to evolve. We forgive. We germinate in spirit. We find new tribes. We have different interests yet engage in discussions. We may change our appearance. We are free to expand without reprisal.

We learn by our mistakes and we grow organically into our best selves, without the need to go about wishing harm toward others. Though with today’s technology we cannot shake off unwanted attention. Like closing a door or moving to a new area. Because with the web, we are all potential victims of fraud, intimidation, stalking, harassment and sabotage. Our views, our history, our data. Our entire pasts can be tampered with at the hands of those who are driven by their emotional grievances. Where insecurity actually threatens our security. Potentially dangerous times.

But we can all live through it by keeping our minds anchored to the good in this world. The positive change. The fresh air that we are blessed to have. Clean water. To declutter our thoughts and provide space in our minds for our own progress in every small way possible. To encourage our circles to thrive, even in our differences. To feel safe and inclusive. Charity Starts at Home. Because each of us is special. A balance of solitude, community and nature.

Finally, and just a quick account of things. I can only apologise to President Trump if you did not like my gift to you that went alongside your award. My intentions were sincere and exceptionally positive. That said, the outcome was ‘for the best’, since I do realise it was just another awkward ‘thing’ much like the internet can be. But the sentiment remains the same.

Tiffy Belle. X