Tag: addiction

name and shame the coward

This is so dreadful it is hardly worth sharing but I will. A friend sent me a screenshot from the woman who for eight years now has devoted her timeline on the Twitter platform, hiding behind her celebrity partner to attack and stalk me whilst simulating my ideas, titles and covers to write the most mundane books, despite being a reading addict herself – she’s made her fortune this way. It is a gift to inspire anyone yet a curse to endorse hatred and bitterness. A woman is a Goddess to be adorned – not a victim of her appearance. The soul runs much deeper. And in this day and time a good woman will already know that together we nurture this unstable planet and not use torrid hatred to divide and seperate. Your wealth is not your soul. Your soul is your true intent and an ugly soul is fine if it can be healed. But every now and again we find a soul that is empty. And we let that go to the waste of our universe and we do not show remorse. Be original – live your life and be inspired by your own footsteps.

I am not on Twitter. It was posted shortly after I put a photo of me wearing a hat a friend sent me to help him with his current situation in crisis. My street name is Queen Bee. I am a street photographer and I am trusted by many artists. So the yellow hat was hugely symbolic. It took him months to make it and I won’t have him ridiculed. It’s enough now. If a child behaved like this to another a child it could cause them to self harm or become withdrawn. It is disgusting a grown woman who has all she wants in life has resorted to such pure hatred. I even held out a letter of hope at the weekend, offering to help them find a new pet to replace their cat that died. This type of cyber bullying is prevalent amongst all age groups not just kids. It was not enough for her to distribute poison pen messages to animal welfare groups. My time helping kids who are going through bullying at school showed me a cyber bully will use manipulation and cryptic games to make the target feel vulnerable and isolated. But for a grown woman to indulge … it’s beyond comprehension. I have tried to get her head on but she hides when confronted. I talk face to face. I am ready. Always ready to face a bully because they are the scum of this earth.

If it does not stop I will be naming/shaming and invite her (once more) to speak with us face to face about her ongoing spite campaign against me. I am trying my best to build good spirit during this tough time. It is so sad when a small few of others resent it and want to tear people down due to their own insecurities. Please note the lovely person who devised this fund raiser has no idea how it has been used to attack me. I feel sad a lovely cause has been used as a weapon to pack a Tweet. This is exactly what we need to break down in our sick society.

Even if I did look like a scarecrow it would not make me any less loved as it is what’s inside that counts. I despise cowards who hide behind their keyboards. I wish she would leave me alone. It would have been better not see it to be honest. It won’t stop me trying. If I behaved like that towards someone my family would be disgusted with me. Anyone who endorses a bully is just as bad. What a dreadful woman to still be full of revenge during such difficult times. What a waste of her energy. Keep going everyone – small steps make progress – stay in the positive. Tiff. X

by Tiffany Belle Harper

The Truth About Social Media #addiction Mind Control – Be Free by Tiffany Belle Harper

There is mixed opinion about social media. I personally believe it is about a healthy balance as I do appreciate the internet is a life line for many people. When I travel alone I enjoy listening to music. Seeing what friends are doing. Finding out about the latest topics – However, I never surf the web on my phone. It’s a strict rule – as I do not wish my free time to become consumed in surrealism.

When I am on the train – I look out the window and see beautiful landscape and architecture. I get my best ideas whilst roaming the findings of nature and art. But I see so many people staring at their phones.

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Recently a woman and her young daughter sat by me on the train. The woman was on Facebook. I couldn’t help but notice she shared a picture of the view from the carriage window. Her daughter was then handed a mobile phone by her mother. They didn’t speak a word to one another for the entire journey which lasted for over an hour. It must have seemed to her Facebook friends they were on a jolly. But they were not. They sat in silence. I really felt for that little girl. I wanted to chat with her but she would have found it strange to be disturbed from her virtual world by a stranger. I don’t think either of them were even aware I was there? This really is a problem and we cannot live in denial.

If things carry on like this, what is life going to be like in the future? I do know it is about balance and to protect the vulnerable. Particularly children. We need to be honest with ourselves and do what is best for the next generation. We should not leave it to the power engines to decide how we should think – what we see – what we know! Life should be free. It is as if the mass majority are serving a prison sentence without realising. That we are not using our brains to the full potential. We are shrinking into clones of the opinions of those we will probably never meet or know. We are exchanging likes and shares with bots that are nothing more than an automated nothingness. We are becoming dependent on a false reality that does not validate our worth in the real world. Obesity – depression and violence are at an all time high and no one is taking responsibility. Scholars and artists are being silenced and incarcerated for art – whilst social media is filling our heads with fake news and fear. It does not have to be this way.

To post bulletins, share your news, show what is happening in your community – all these things can be positive. To learn to spread time across recreational and community living – alongside the more positive aspects of being on the internet. To not allow yourself to feel degraded or belittled by a keyboard. What began as a useful tool should not become more important than a good quality of life. Algorithms are controlling what we see and what we buy into. A repetitive cycle that keeps us stuck in the system.

Even think about what you are doing today – Are you alienating yourself away from real life events and gatherings in favour of social media? Did you used to paint – write – craft or go the gym? What sacrifices have you made to spend time on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram?

Of course I would not want to change your free choice – I am simply saying it is all about moderation. Be with your children – talk with them. Teach them new skills. They need you.

TBH©

 

by Tiffany Belle Harper

‘Disconnection’ by Tiffany Belle Harper (re-posted from last year …) Having a reflective day

Our minds have more information to share with ‘self’ than most tweets and FB personal posts can teach us. It’s all about where we focus the positive within.

I haven’t had an iPhone for years and I don’t miss what I don’t know. Try using a camera instead and set up other ways to share your passions.

If you are being emotionally attacked online, tell someone. Bullies tend to retreat when you have support. Nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. Talk to a friend or tell your teacher or guardian. Together we can make the world a better place.

Spend time outdoors and look out for recreational groups in your community. Make ‘real’ friends and better ways to work and play.

When you use the internet try to be purposeful. Perhaps spend less time chatting and watch YouTube videos covering topics that interest you. You can learn so much this way too!

Set up a journal or blog and record your progress with your crafts and imagination combined. Find things that stimulate you and teach you new things to talk about with friends. Make online time beneficial.

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Less is more. More community, more to share. 

No matter what age we are, we constantly have to find the right balance that works best for our well-being. To find people that we enjoy connecting with, that teach us with subjects that appeal.

We are stuck ‘nowhere’ we are fortunate to have the freedom of choice in most cases and should be thankful for this. There are many who are living incarceration without the little things we take for granted.

So be the change – It’s time for change!

Tiffany Belle Harper.

by Tiffany Belle Harper

People/Bullies with Drink Problems – Don’t Suffer in Silence by Tiffany Belle Harper

Whilst I was the victim of bullying on a social platform – as most of  my tasks were to help animals suffering the most extreme abuse, I found it very difficult to cope during parts of 2010 to early 2015. The bully was aware of this but showed no mercy. Regardless of my contempt towards those who do such thing to others, I wish no harm to anybody including bullies and abusers. Instead I hope you get better …

A bully is not a happy person. They are often weak people with no inner sense of spiritual balance.

Further down is a link that I would love to share with those needing support with alcohol addiction, in particular for those who show traits of malice to others, such as the man who attacked me using the web together with his girlfriend who fell in and out of it with him. I can only assume their relationship ignites with territorial battles that lay within themselves. My bully had a cycle, it became predictable according to his drinking from home. Although I was the ‘main’ focus of his contempt others who showed a spiritual or religious opinion also took the wrath, using his multi-million Twitter following.  What a pity this became his main ‘preoccupation’ when there’s so much loveliness going on in the real world.

I told the bully to please stop – but the torment continued. In fact the more I asked the worse it got. And much of it came through making annoyance with animal causes and charity that was counter productive to smaller rescue.

I had to walk away as I felt animals were dying due to the obsession my bully had towards me. An obsession that followed me to my blogs, YouTube channels and anywhere I tried to keep a link for my friends and family to keep up with me and my busy life. Ironically enough, as my animal welfare input decreased so did his …

There does come a point when we have to put the past behind us and be glad to be alive and stop hiding. I should not feel afraid to share my spirituality, music, words, photography and little videos of what I love to do. It’s my self expression and I am blessed to have the ability to do the things I enjoy and be able to make others happy too.

I hope that some of you may find this useful. The first step to recovery is knowing the only person that can truly help starts with ‘self.’ I wish somebody had of been around to support me during these years. But I became a very private person due to lack of confidence.

It would be fair to say I suffered in silence, behind closed doors. My only life thread/salvation to help animals. It was not about money or self recognition. Yet my bully spent most days trying to intervene between me and my goals. Eventually, he won. My work became interwoven in his projects. My stories, ideas …

It finally hit the wall of no return when he pioneered a lobby to help one rescue in Romania that depleted the others of funds. It has had such a devastating knock on effect for the dogs and volunteers, and I blame myself as he did it to hurt me using his fame and following.

I also ran a pet business using the Twitter platform and closed that down too. Nothing is worse than feeling persecuted in the work place. Especially by two ‘financially’ stable people who have no gain in what they did to me for so long.

However on a positive … I have used these difficult times to rebuild my spiritual bond and commitment to be a good person. It is with the help of my spirituality that I got well. Not to mention the land of blogging. I’ve made some really special friends here too!

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However – I do not want to see anyone going through the same. Regardless of who they are or whether I respect them or not. There’s nothing worse than feeling like a piece of shit on the bottom of a boot.

I knew I had to spend less time on social platforms when I began to tug my hair out and make myself sick. I feel sad when I reflect back. I lost my dignity and I should of got out of it sooner. But my love of animals deterred the decision.

My family are my world and my heart is my guide. Without them I would not be here. I realise now that community is the best way to help and find help in return. I can relate to people of all ages who feel the same and suffer in silence. I really do and I am always here for my friends of old, new and for the future.

We cannot blame drink for our actions. We are totally responsible for the hardship we inflict and this is no excuse for being vile to others. Zero sympathy for brute behaviour. A constant stream of jibing and sheer spitefulness between two people that should know better. I can only assume it was/is a severe form of jealousy …

I recall one occasion where I tried to build bridges by including his long term girlfriend in a tweet to help a rescue,  she responded by a tweet about Twitter slamming rather than using her integrity to support the animals. Yet the same couple are regarded as heroic task masters in their close knit public grouping.

Another time, when I moved over to Facebook. I am so rubbish at it and thought my chats were private. I tried to organise a birthday get together and it was so poorly done as there was a lot of holistic events going on that same weekend. His girlfriend (a mature woman who should know better) started making remarks on her timeline about a girl who had no friends on her birthday. It really hurt as I had only just started getting out again, after a long battle with past events. The truth of the matter was the same friends I was chatting with had arranged a surprise party for me. But why should I have to justify that on a public platform with what I assumed was a private conversation?

It got to the point I could not use social media to its best advantage on any level. I felt under scrutiny, constantly. It was having a drink in the evening that gave me the nerve to look up friends and get involved.

I could write a long list of all of the horrible things that were done to me both emotionally/personally and through the animal welfare platforms via my bully but I do not want to relive the past. I am in a good place now and my future is with those who love me and want me to be happy as I do them.

I will never be able to ‘fully’ participate in social media as this would all just resume where it left and things would not be any better. He’s still reactionary, and she’s on the tail. Yet it has done me a favour as I am now free. Free from the responsibility, free from the burden of trying to achieve better things without the right support. Furthermore I learned how to set up tweet streams which means I can still support causes.

I am pleased that more and more people are branching out to their own space. Less is more and we should not be reduced to relying upon likes and shares from strangers. We are human beings with massive energy fields that do not require a button to validate how magnificent we are. The beauty of blogging provokes healthy discussion unlike most other platforms.

Blogging is so much better than tweeting, it enables us to express our full self without exception.

If any of you are in a place where I have walked, things do get better. It is all about where we focus our energy. And remember, attention goes where energy flows, so don’t look where you’ll get no gain. It’s detrimental to you, your health and humanity itself.

If you are the victim of bullying, speak to people. You will be surprised how much help is out there. Small steps make the best progress. One day at a time. Although I didn’t, many others noticed what was going on, I did eventually receive support from the most unlikely of places. It’s true, I suppose, the truth wins.

My workshops are great ways to hold your hands and tell you, you are not alone. Don’t suffer in silence. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I did and I would die fighting for you.

I want to spend more time sharing links to help groups and encouraging people to set up more in the community for those that are suffering in silence. I’ve my own business now, a cafe – it’s not online, there’s no need.  I’ve built my own reputation in the community. I’ve a new life and enough money to live without fear of destitution. (I’m surrounded by love, to include my pets …) Yet although we move forward, forgive … we should never forget – for bullies are here to teach us how to grow from their poor attitude. I sleep well. I’d rather be the target than hold the gun.

I’ve lost two people I love this year, due to bullying. Both shot in the face. The severest, most cowardly act. Yet, I know … they rest in peace. The hardest things to forgive, help us find clarity, peace, faith. This is why it’s so important to get the right help if we feel under threat. Yet sometimes such hatred can take us unaware.

I myself nearly lost my life to an attacker at the end of 2009. It was my sons that suffered most. They grew up very quickly having to take care of me. I’m sorry …

Please if any of this hits a nerve take a look > Link > Sunday Club show it to your bully if he/she/they are fired up on booze when they try to hurt you. Don’t be afraid to speak out. Write a blog like this one. Express your inner passion. You are loved. We all are.

Finally, if you know or connect with a volunteer, cause worker, campaigner or activist, their lives aren’t easy. There’s little reward for seeing hardship 24/7. Be good to them, please.

Tiffany Belle Harper.

by Tiffany Belle Harper