Angel Poop- An Auction and Roxy – ‘Writing with the moon’ #Diary

Can’t sleep, it’s 2.10 am on Friday morning! I was supposed to drive back to Leeds today but think I will wait til weekend as I need a day to myself. I’ve been so busy this week. 

Firstly, went to an auction with my son. He’s found some land he likes. Well … a forest. It’s heavenly. However, on arrival we were told the ‘lot’ is no longer available for the foreseeable future. My son had already ordered coffee so we stayed in the bar of the venue to have a drink. I noticed an interesting couple, felt compelled to speak with them. They were well dressed – had an air about them. Yet, approachable. They told me they were bidding on a house. I asked to see the particulars. It was a run down farm with outbuildings and various land plots around it in various shapes.

I knew they’d get the house. It was meant for them. I told the couple not to bid until the last minute or seem too keen. I’ve been to many auctions with my other son in Yorkshire. They thanked me explaining they’d not slept the night before and hadn’t a clue about an auction. Also, how much they wanted the house – a perfect family home for them.

I gave the lady my number, asking her to text the outcome. She seemed surprised I was so forthcoming. Moments before, they sat alone, passive, then some woman bolts over out the blue, offering involuntary advice … ‘me.’

Next day I got up had a quick shower and rushed out the door, forgetting my phone (a normal occurrence – sometimes deliberate.) Arriving at the dentist, ‘Jatty’ also a long term friend asked how I was? Rather than lie I told him, “A bit fed up.” That I’d lost my dog and was fairly heartbroken. His eyes instantly softened, for a few seconds he said nothing.

“He died on the 2nd March in my arms,” I continued.

Jatty looked out the window then said, “that’s on the Thursday.” Continuing, “my dog Roxy died on the Friday, she was 12.”

“Oh Goodness,” I responded. “You must be heartbroken …”

“It’s a feeling I can’t explain,” he told me.

An hour or so later I got back to Warwick and found my phone. On turning it on an unknown number texted, “hi! Just to let you know we got the house at auction.” Followed by another text from my son with a photo of his most recent ‘juice’ concoction.

There’s no significance in any of the above content other than life goes on.

Oh, and I’ve built a nest in the garden. It was a shed, some say ‘summer house.’ I keep it real. Then, there’s the book I’m writing.

Lovely time yesterday seeing Kris – her family and the hounds. All such darlings. There’s trust and I don’t say that often. I’ll know them all for a long – long while.

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To conclude and diversify, above the bed where I sleep, there’s an ornamental cherub. I’ve a robin affectionately named Mr Marcy (don’t know why I’ve called him that…) It flew in a couple of months or so ago and pooped directly under the cherub. No-one’s really discussed it since or cleaned the wall. It’s like an eternal marking. Surreal becomes real. Nothing’s impossible. So much goes unsaid and more than that, goes unnoticed. Or so it would seem.

Who says night is for sleep. I’ll be honest. It’s when I’m most awake. People and their motives are often an unhealthy distraction –  less apparent when dancing with the moon.

You find out who your friends are when you lose your favourite one and that was my dog. Less is more. TBH

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Tiffany. X

Photo above is of a recent trip to Malvern. I was high up in the hills. Just amazing.

I’ve made a nest … #contemplative Just moving on really. Feels good #butterfly

I’ve created a space without distraction to write. There’s no internet. I’ve got my laptop and a radio. Even changed my music choice to ‘Smooth FM.’ It’s my nest in the middle of nowhere. A little rustic office.

I’ve been contemplative.

I believe that when we engage it is important to be amongst like-minded. And for me that is a positive mix of all types. I never predetermine how a person should think, vote or what their spiritual preference is. To me like-minded is simply to feel comfortable around people regardless of their own views. I never agree to keep the peace, I think some ‘healthy’ debate is necessary in order to learn. Yet there has to be respect of difference where you can love a person just as much for not agreeing with everything you do or say!

Opposites attract provided we have the same values. To be of service and driven by passion, to help where we can and find comfort in our own crafts whilst appreciating others. But most of all to be able to laugh. It’s about give and take. Literally, to be grateful to those who help us throughout out short journey of life. To say ‘thank you.’ We all need to feel appreciated. Good manners cost nothing and blatant bad manners should be avoided.

When a friend hurts us, we can make adjustments to avoid this happening once more, but … when a ‘friend or associate’ repeatedly hurts our feelings, it’s time to move on. I’ve learned this many times. Yet, it’s only been since losing my dog I’ve had the ability to sincerely shrug off any shit going on in my life. I just don’t need it. It’s quite a good feeling. To just brush things off and get on with stuff.

We should never judge another person until we’ve walked a mile in their shoes. It’s true. It’s about balance, acceptance and finding somewhere in the middle to distribute the process of giving and receiving. Yet, if only one of you is able to do this. The other will be left depleted. Just move on. I do. It’s brilliant. You’ll feel much better for it.

My head’s been full of words. Some I thought I’d forgot with time and life experience – but they’re flooding back. Perhaps the pace of life erases the most poignant bits?  I’ve been scribbling away and writing the book for which I am proud to announce I am on the fifth chapter. It may take a year – a couple of months but it’s thrilling me. It’s about the taking part not the destination. I’ve never been so focused or at one with ‘me.’

So, for my writing nest. I’ve only used stuff I had lying around or found in the garage. Got a couple of bits from the tip shop. I wanted it all to just fall together in a miss-match.

It’s my very own space and I find peace here. I am trying not to become a complete hermit. I’ve got to do a bit for the UKRescueConnect blog. Been trying to work out how to network ‘pages’ on Facebook as so far I’ve only used it to engage with groups and talk to friends on my personal page. Total disaster – have to laugh. Will keep having a dabble when I’m in bed supping tea.

Here’s some pictures of my little hub … they’re a bit blurry. Camera’s in car. I hope you’re all well. Sending the love … peace.

Tiffany Belle Harper.

Real Me (finally …) #VideoDiary

I’ve had a wonderful few days in my own space, where I’ve done things I enjoy most. Writing, making videos, photography, walking and exploring. It’s given me time to reflect. I realise that life is how we find self value with activity we enjoy. It’s soul food. It’s not who else see’s it or how others define us, it’s taking part, staying in touch and being true to our purpose.

I love blogging. It’s therapy – so, here’s a video to say hello and thank you to those who helped me through a very tough time recently. Tiffany and Angel Hound. X

 

A Quiff in Little Malvern – #Vlog Worcestershire #TravelBlog plus #Video

From Warwick to Malvern my dog ‘Angel and me are staying in a quirky little wooden cabin in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for writing, reading, all things pensive. There’s a poor internet signal making it idyllic. No distractions. Focusing only on travel, food and photography, whilst enjoying life alfresco style. Malvern Hills being right on our doorstep together with many local attractions.

It’s a strange transition as normally we’d be with Foley – Tibetan Terrier who died in my arms a couple of weeks ago, age 21. I had to get away. To reflect and remember. Plus, I wanted to get Angel used to being without him as quickly as possible. He’s sorely missed but I can only treasure so many fond memories. In particular travelling, finding quaint places and retreats in the United Kingdom. We have a glorious country and much remains unexplored by so many.

First day we drove from Welland to Little Malvern. I noticed signs saying ‘Open Gardens.’ It was like a treasure hunt. On finding what I assumed was the house (where the last sign was located.) I drove into a lavish driveway then parked the car. I could see the superb topiary to the side of the big stone dynasty. Angel cocked her leg up a well sheered ornate hedge folly in full view of her audience. A group of posh type people sitting in the study, each wall top to bottom in leather backed books. They reminded me of ventriloquist dummies. Rigid. There wasn’t much I could do to avoid our introduction. She was desperate. My only relief, she didn’t follow with a poop.

Watch this video then keep reading … it gets better.

We entered the garden, the views incredible. I began to fumble around for my camera. A lady came to the side door. She wore an apron. Had immaculately set dark grey hair with a well lacquered quiff to the front. A stern look upon her face. I smiled, expecting her to greet me. As the ‘Open Garden’ event was for a charitable cause I assumed she’d come for my donation.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked. I thought it was obvious. I’d come to admire the garden and get into the community spirit. I am sucker for fundraising.

“I’ve come to the ‘Open Garden’ day I told her.

“Well … it’s not here and anyway dogs aren’t allowed.”

My immediate reaction was to explain I’d simply followed the signs. Then I wondered why she didn’t advise me where I had gone wrong and to guide me in the right direction? Clearly, there was not going to be any banter other than to ward me from her property.

I decided rather than stoop to her level I’d better leave. I was trespassing in her back garden with a dog that couldn’t stop weeing on everything. We sort of meandered off and drove away, parking directly opposite in the Church car park that was well signed yet, I’d  missed it on the way in.

Leaving Angel in the car I took a tour round Little Malvern Priory. It was exquisite – the Vicar had just finished a sermon. The congregation just leaving. There’s always those that saunter to be acknowledged by the Vicar on exit, as though they’ll be nearer to God if they do.  I noticed many of them resembled the woman whose garden my dog showered upon in abundance.

The Vicar told me I could spend as much time as I wanted, take photographs – as long as I closed the door. He was a jolly old soul. An air of sincerity about him. I liked that. There was just me in there and for ten minutes or so I took time to reflect on this year’s events. I thanked the universe for all the mishaps, as it had made me grow as a person. I spoke with Foley then left. Not sure whether he heard me, but I felt better for it. Churches are good for things like that.

DSC_0050We continued our drive to Great Malvern town, then walked down the promenade. It was a lovely day. Even the rude woman made it more colourful. I hope she reads this, if so, thank you.

Arriving back to my log cabin, I watched a movie then did some writing. There’s more to come. Spring is here and the weathers on our side. I’m doing what I love best – being lost in new places. No sense of time. A head full of words and a camera to treasure moments amidst towns and rural settings.

It’s my first UK trip in 21 years without Foley. It’s not the same without him but the memories are with us every step of the journey. Next stop will be …. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. Best things happen on impulse, I seldom plan ahead. It’s too conventional – I’m rubbish at stuff like that.

Tiffany Belle Harper.

 

In Memory of Foley and his spirit – the love and our journey – lessons – dimensional acceptance

I do wear my heart on my sleeve and writing is a healer. It is not good to bottle up emotions as this will make us unwell. Letting go is a necessary part of growing. My dog Foley passed over rainbow bridge last night just after 11pm in my arms age 21. It has broken my heart. I have poems, memories and words I want to express then cannot.

It has opened my true self to explore the value of ‘me’ at the moment. Quickly validating the mantra ‘less is more.’ My cousin came over this morning and my parents were here as my son handed Foley to the lady who came to cremate him. Seeing her car drive away was deeply emotional. A part of me went on the journey.

I’ve a small circle who knew Foley who have been ever so supportive. Losing a doggy or any pet is just so awful to recover from – but we have to take with us the memories and keepsakes. For me it was being outdoors with nature. Having the comfort of consistent companionship. That’s where I find my peace, being with all things natural, unspoilt.

I’m not perfect I often admit to my faults, I am very open with my opinions and I despise injustice. I do realise none of us are perfect but not a day goes by I try to improve who I am. I give myself permission to love or to detest traits in others. We need to experience all aspects of human nature to evolve within our own identity. We learn from actions and doings from each of the day’s lessons.

When people ask me ‘what is karma?’ It is not hardship or revenge. It is not death or birth. Karma is our own sense of true ‘self-worth.’ How we feel about our core acceptance of life’s colourful journey. Tiffany Belle Harper

I once went to a Buddhist retreat and meditated for a weekend where we focused on Princess Tara. She was a Goddess of animals but she was also a fierce warrior who sleighed for her passion to save and maintain the planet. Showing us we must fight and stand up for truth and balance. It taught me it is ok to have a sense of passion robust enough to challenge the weakness of those who rebel against their brothers and sisters in ways that only result in destroying themselves. Those with ill intent guised in good doings bought by populous and a false sense of validation. That truth prevails.

All that attended the weekend came away feeling more empowered to pursue ‘inner’ balance and find solace in natural habitats, fresh food and animal comforts. I am not a fully-fledged Buddhist as I am not good at studying in detail one chosen subject. I am open to all aspects of religion and spirituality. But I suppose my heart resonates most with the drive and values of passion and abundance with Buddhism and indeed Foley was a Tibetan terrier. He had the typical traits.

When people set out to hurt us, they are hurting themselves and when we retaliate with a desire to halt the motives it only infuriates further. Often, those that are attacked most are done so in an indirect fashion and those that come from truth will do this openly with direct confrontation. There is never a supposition.

Yet those that come from truth with a sincere wish to grow spiritually will have greater obstacles, lessons and loss. For it is this – that opens the gates of higher dimensions. And it is these higher dimensions that will set ways for infinite progression and connection to the divine.

When my dog took his last breath, for a moment, I was scared. Scared that my spirituality was not strong enough to hold faith his soul would rise. As his warm little body relaxed into mine I felt a great peace, a warmth. I felt love, complete love.

I’ve cried for over a day. I feel a loss but I also feel a love I cannot touch, stroke or hold. It is about understanding how love can change its insight. How love can be set free. Nothing will replace him. His love is a manifestation of 21 years of our unique bond.

I dreamt last night in a deep state of sleep there was a pony at the back door. He was small, black and white, a long off white mane. He was looking down as though something should climb on to his back. On waking I wondered whether I should adopt a pony or find someone with a pony who may need my help. But now, I believe he came to take Foley away. Still now I can see this horse so vividly. I can smell him too. I believe he took Foley over rainbow bridge.

Today I have told myself I do not need to find or achieve anything. It is already here. It is love in the people I have around me. None of which are strangers. It is their love for Foley that is my love. That we do not always have to strive, look for ways to help others. That sometimes it is about the now and enjoying what we have around us. Less is more. And with stillness our journey will come.

My friend Mindy said to me ‘don’t forget you have little Angel to care for.’

Angel is 9. She has not had a day in her life without Foley. She tried to get him up this morning.

My son came over and I asked if he wanted to look at Foley. He was apprehensive but I pulled back his blanket. He looked so peaceful. Still, fast asleep. He did suffer for the last ten minutes. But now peace is upon him. If I had one wish it would be he could heal the dogs that were not so fortunate during their final moments. That died at the hands of hate and ignorance.

Today my faith and spirituality have never been stronger. We should stand up for our rights and we should never fear our truth. For it is truth that will set our conscience free. That suffering is part of growth. That self-worth is the essence of who we ‘truly’ are and has no value or boundaries.

I am thankful to the universe for giving me a life companion of such beauty and loyalty. He will remain with nature, with me, with each petal in time. And as the seasons change – where all falls back to begin again – I will be reminded of our adventures.

In memory of Foley. X